There are a lot of ways to make a difference in your life by introducing (and cultivating) small changes. Most of us know how to improve our lives and also have the means to do so. Yet we often fail to take action.
I'll bet you could write down right now at least ten ways to improve your life. Go on - JUST DO IT!
Of course, it is not easy or practical to add many new habits to your day. But you could build up a single new routine fairly comfortably. You take a series of small changes and build a ritual that you follow daily.
Your goal is to simply focus on a single routine that only takes about 15 - 30 minutes to complete. Perhaps not even that long. Within this routine is a series of actions. Create a checklist and follow it every single day.
Sometimes the smallest of actions can make a huge difference in your life. As Stephen Guise wrote (Mini Habits: Small Habits, Bigger Results), you can stick to a larger habit while starting "stupidly small" by creating a very simple/easy-to-reach mini-goal. The aim of a mini-habit is to be consistent. By doing your mini-goals every day (and perhaps going for even more while you're at it), you take small steps toward the End-Goal.
I am working on
-fruit every day (toward my goal of eating exceptionally well)
-one full pushup (toward my goal of having strong muscles)
-eating small meals (toward my goal of being slender)
Here is how you go about it:
Step 1: Choose your Mini-Habit. Solidly develop ONE habit that is "stupid (silly) small".
Step 2: Use the Why Drill on each Mini-Habit: Identify why you want each Mini-Habit (that will eventually lead to the larger goal).
Step 3: Define your habit cues: What sets off the urge to do the bad habit and when does that happen. For desired habits, decide when and where you are going to do them. Attach the mini-habits to an established routine like getting up or having breakfast. (As soon as I get up, I will...)
Step 4: Create your reward plan
Celebrating wins is the most effective strategy for making us feel good about our lives. It motivates us to do the desired behavior again and again. The idea is to appreciate the small, positive steps that bring us toward our goal. Pat yourself on the back each and every time you carry out your mini-goals.
Step 5: Keep track in a dairy, calender or some other easily accessible device. Use the 'habit streak plan app'.
Everything is a process; a series of small changes in a consistent direction. Once we realize this, we have the power to change almost anything. And it remains palatable.
And what "stupidly simple" habit are you cultivating?
Dr. Phil: "How's That Working for You?"
Life is about choices. If you decide to spend more time on your career, your family may suffer. If you decide to spend more time with your family, your career may suffer. The choice is yours, but you must choose. Even not choosing is a choice.
Again, if you're not getting the outcome you want, your motivation doesn't matter. Have you punished your teenager to keep her from hanging with the wrong crowd only to discover that she's been sneaking out to do drugs? You may have the right intentions, but what you're doing isn't working. Maybe you're a tyrannical boss who demands perfection, but you can't keep good employees. That's not working either.
Imagine seeing someone facing a wall and just banging his head against it, over and over. The wall isn't moving, and his head is turning into hamburger, but he keeps on banging. You'd think he was nuts, right? That's exactly what you're doing when you make bad choices and then keep making them because…well, just because. You don't need a year of therapy to figure this out: If you're not getting more of what you want and less of what you don't, then it's not working.
If you're resistant to taking a good look at yourself, it's possible that you're a "right fighter": one of those people who spend far too much energy convincing the rest of the world that they're right. They're right as parents, they're right at work, they're right in their relationships, they're right about politics—and they are all too ready to fight about just how right they are. These insecure people are too fragile to ask themselves how things are working for them, because they might not like the answer one bit. It might mean making a change or admitting they've been (dare I say it?) wrong.
Doing what works requires insight and courage; it's easier to keep doing exactly what you've done before. Getting out of your comfort zone can be frightening, even if your comfort zone isn't really so comfortable. But if you want something different, then you have to do something different.
You can choose to be right…or you can choose to be happy. I vote for the latter—but hey, it's your call. The next time you get frustrated with your results, though, look in the mirror and ask yourself, How's that working for you?
