Mindfulness - The 12 "Laws"

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
– Carl Jung

Mindfulness as a daily ritual is the ultimate challenge and practice.  It’s a way of living, of being, of seeing, of tapping into the full power of your humanity.
At its core, mindfulness is…

• Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
• Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
• Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)

Knowing this is important.  Living every day in such a way that makes mindfulness possible is life-changing.  Here are twelve basic laws of (practical) mindfulness that make mindful living a gradual reality:

1.  Your only reality is THIS MOMENT, right here, right now.

• The secret to health for the mind, body and soul is not to mourn the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment mindfully and purposefully.
• True wealth is the ability to experience the present moment fully.  No other time and place is real.  Lifelong peace and abundance is found in such simple awareness.

2.  A negative thought is harmless unless you believe it.

• It’s not your thoughts, but your attachment to your thoughts, that causes suffering.
• Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true without proof.  A belief is a thought that you’ve been attaching to, often for years.

3.  You will not be punished FOR your anger; you will be punished BY it.

• Speak and act when you are enraged, and you will make the best speech and motions you will ever regret.
• Being angry and unhappy about something is easy.  Doing something productive about it is the hard and worthwhile part.  Life is too precious and too short to spend it being upset.  Drop it. 

4.  Inner peace is knowing how to belong to oneself, without external validation.

• In order to understand the world, you have to turn away from it on occasion.
• Sometimes you justify yourself to others when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.  Don’t look for anyone else to give you permission to be yourself.  You don’t need anyone’s validation to be happy or to live a good life.

5.  Everything is created twice, first in your mind and then in your life.

• If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for almost anything.
• Keep your morals close to your heart and at the top of your mind.

6.  There is a wilderness you walk alone, however well accompanied you are.

• Others can walk beside you, but they can’t walk in your shoes.
• Try to figure out why you truly are always alone even when you’re surrounded, and why this is perfectly OK.

7.  To strongly believe in something, and not live it, is dishonest.

• Don’t bend; don’t water down your dreams; don’t try to make every feeling logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion trends.  Rather, follow your most intense passions, mindfully.
• Characterize yourself by your actions and you will never be fooled by other people’s words.

8.  The right path and the easy path are rarely the same path.

• You will ultimately come to realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path, and it’s worth your while.  Every step forward may be tough, but will feel better than anything else you can imagine.
• People don’t stop pursuing their dreams and passions because they grow old; they grow old because they stop pursuing their dreams and passions.

9.  If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs.

• Instead of thinking about what you want, first consider what you are willing to give up to get it.  You can’t have the destination without the journey.  If you want the six-pack abs, you have to want the sweat, the sore muscles, the early mornings at the gym, and the healthy meals.
• Ask yourself: What is worth suffering for?  If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe you don’t actually want it at all, because you’re not willing to suffer though the work it’s going to take to achieve it.

10.  Overcommitting is the antithesis of living a peaceful, mindful life.

• There’s a difference between being committed to the right things and being overcommitted to everything.  It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with to-do list tasks or distractions.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Leave space.
• Keep your life ordered and your schedule under-booked. Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe.

11.  When you try to control too much, you enjoy too little.

• Don’t live a life packed full of concrete plans.  Work hard, but be flexible.  The best moments often happen unplanned and the greatest regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned.
• Sometimes you just need to let go, relax, take a deep breath and love what is, right now.

12.  When you are tired, you are attacked by ideas you likely conquered long ago.

• You must refill your bucket on a regular basis.  That means catching your breath, finding quiet solitude, focusing your attention inward, and otherwise making time for recovery from the chaos of your routine.
• It’s perfectly healthy to pause and let the world spin without you for a while.  If you don’t, you will burn yourself out.

Afterthoughts

The greatest enemy of good thinking, and thus mindfulness, is busyness.
Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect.  We all have seasons of wild schedules, but very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time.  We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.
Although being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term.  We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful, mindful life.


Source:

Marc Chernoff Co-Founder @ Marc and Angel Hack Life / Personal Development...

airbnb for me

I joined airbnb spontaneously in July, looking for a room for two weeks in October in Florence, Italy. Some of the places looked great, actually amazing, on the website airbnb.com.  But some rooms were hardly larger than broom closets!

I began to wonder if anyone would come over to my town to sleep in a private room of mine. Maybe if the trade fairs in Düsseldorf drew so many people, the hotels would fill up and visitors might need sleeping places.

So I inserted my own ad: a spacious bedroom with half-bath plus shower use. I spruced up the room and took some pictures. And off I went on a new adventure.

Within 24 hours I had an inquiry, which surprised me considerably. Weird thoughts raced through my head and fears crept into my bones.

Then I thought “Why not?!” and said yes.

It’s been over a month since I had my first guest and have had five guests since then and two more have signed up. Would you believe it? It’s lovely!

The guests are quiet, orderly and delightful people. Except for the fact that I’ve been sleeping on the floor of my office, the whole experience has been pleasant up ‘til now. Sometimes they’ll chat but more often than not, they go their own way and just sleep here.

Fine with me!

So I’m in the process of turning my office into a bedroom for myself when I have guests. The room is also quite large so it works out fine. I had bought a fold-up bed on wheels years ago, which my daughter had borrowed. Last year, I loaned the mattress to my son and it’s taken a while to get both parts back together and in my office. But it’s finished and I do sleep better on a mattress with a support!

If the guests come close together, I end up doing lots of laundry: sheets and towels. Since I don't have a dryer (saving energy), I have to hang the sheets over doors and on the balcony if it's not raining, etc. And I keep the bath spotlessly clean, which takes more time than before. It definitely makes me more orderly!

When asked why I let “strange” people stay here, I can’t really answer. My motto has always been “Why not?!” and "Just Do It!" which makes for a more colorful life.

If I can’t wear a size 6, am I fat?!

Whazup with me today?! I cleaned windows, purged my closets, went to training, ate correctly, read a (Kindle) book …

What IS going on?! I must have taken an energy pill.

I haven’t given up my mission – the pursuit of simplicity. Not too much of any THING yet lots of quality life.

So I am purging for the umteenth time since 2012. I still have many “things” I don’t “need” but I have gotten rid of all the unimportant STUFF.

Trying on the pants I was deciding if I should keep or give to the refugees who are filling up Europe, I found a “few” that were much too small. Now how did that happen?! Those were size 6 pants and my rear is a size ???!

Could it be the muscles I’ve grown through disciplined training? Did the pants shrink in the dry cleaning? Did irksome elves exchange my pants with those of their colleagues?

As an older person, I’ve learned that we need more fat in case we get sick. Could that be an adage from the 15^th century?

So maybe I should stop eating. Mama always said that is the guaranteed way to lose weight.

Or perhaps I should just roll with the flow and accept my Venus curves. My doctor says I am just right but what does he know?! Doesn’t he see the magazines, newspapers, TV shows? That’s the way we need to look, right?

At any rate, I shall not give up. I still work and love it. I like my new pad. I have some new friends and have warmed up some old ones. I can still move with some ease and my apartment is ideally located. The fitness center is close and, if I walk there, I get an “award” from my fitbit.

So, who’s complainin’?!

Slices of Life

Whether it's a gleeful baby looking over its mother's shoulder, someone's playful pug dog or the driver of the car stopped next to you at the light, you look at a stranger and – wham! – your heart warms up and there is something in that instant, that only the two of you will ever know.

Or the new recipe works perfectly for company.

You reach for the gorgeous dress or suit – and it fits perfectly - plus you look amazing in it.

You play and audition or have a job interview – and ace it.

Every day these tiny joys find ways to brighten our lives. It's no surprise that we snap photos and keep journals to remember the times we thought our hearts would burst wide open.

A gentle hug, an outburst of laughter, or a funny one-liner can open up the sunshine floodgates and leave us feeling all warm and fuzzy.

These delightful slices of life are served up when you least expect them. Everyone has them and we should hold on to the feeling as long as possible. These are the Magic Moments that add wonder and joy to our lives.

"And if we were to collect these small moments in a notebook and save them over a period of months we would see certain trends emerge from our collection—certain voices would emerge that have been trying to speak through us. We would realize that we have been having another life altogether; one we didn’t even know was going on inside us. And maybe this other life is more important than the one we think of as being real—this clunky day-to-day world of furniture and noise and metal. So just maybe it is these small silent moments which are the true story-making events of our lives.”
― Douglas Coupland, Life After God

“Sometimes it's the same moments that take your breath away that breathe purpose and love back into your life.”

― Steve Maraboli,

Organizing a man's closet

Yes, men want to have more order in their closet, too. Unless you have a rock star's income and two-story walk-in closet, use the tips below to make the most out of a normal closet.

Get rid of your old stuff

Take everything in your closet that you don’t wear. I know you got attached to it but think about renovation, and for that to work you need to unattach from the old stuff you have. Unclutter that closet!

T- Shirts

Organize T-shirts by colors and the ones that have graphics on them. You should already have everything out of your closet, so choose a place that you think will be perfect for the t-shirts section. Go ahead and separate all the colors including t-shirts with graphics on it. Then place the t-shirts organized by color and hang them. With the same color t-shirts keep the ( Plain T shirts on the left ) and ( T shirts with graphics on the right ) and so on for the other colors. It should look like this:

Or if you would prefer, you could just fold them and put them away organized.

Dress Shirts and Suits

With Dress Shirts you should do the same thing and arrange them by colors as well. Men often use different type of colors so remember to separate the plaid shirts as well. For the Suits and Blazers beside colors, separate them by fabric wool, cotton , linen etc…

Jeans and Pants

Hang your Jeans and Pants because they tend to get wrinkles. You should already know how important it is to never wear clothes that are wrinkled. If you don’t have much space in your closet at least hang the pants and leave the jeans folded.

Shoes and Accessories:

The best way to organize shoes and accessories is to make them visible.  You want to be sure you will see everything you have to make the best option for your outfit. You don’t want to be going from box to box trying to find what you are looking for. A shoe rack is extremely helpful if you don’t have a space built in for shoes in your closet. Plus you can also place it underneath the hangers to make usage of all space you have. The same thing for watches, sunglasses,bracelets etc… You can always buy some nice rack to place them and maybe a portable one so when you are traveling you can take everything at once.



For Ties and Belts hang everything. Once again, you don’t want to fold your ties because it can get wrinkled and if you fold your belts unproperly , it will leave marks that will damage them.

Step by Step: How to organize a woman's closet

There’s little point in owning the latest bag or dress if you can’t find it in your closet when you’re getting dressed. A clean, well-organized wardrobe—instead of a confusing, jumbled mess of clothes and accessories—means you’ll maximize all your sartorial purchases, and come up with polished, carefully considered outfits even on hectic mornings. 

Read on for tips and tricks from professionals and soon you’ll not only have clothes that are well maintained but also an orderly closet, like the one below from  The Coveteur.

Step #1: Get Rid Of Your Old Clothes. 

It might not be easy, but tossing out or donating old clothes is key to making room in your closet. Donate anything they haven’t worn in more than two years that has no intrinsic value. Also, if it’s two sizes too small or two sizes too big, get rid of it. It’s time to buy new clothes. Ask yourself if you’d buy this item today, or if it has a sentimental factor that warrants storage.

Step #2: Call The Pros—Or Find Your Own Storage Solutions. 

If you’re interested in hiring professional help to organize your closet, it may be more affordable than you think. A custom closet is a luxury that many of us can afford. Even the major closet companies can design what you would like on a budget. But if that’s not an option, use storage units that allow you to see your clothes and accessories. If you can’t see it, you don’t wear it! Use Slimline Hangers; your clothes won’t fall off and they give you twice the space of wood and plastic.”

Step #3: Start Organizing. 

How do you organize sweaters versus lingerie or shoes versus jeans? There are different solutions for each, so check out how you can start de-cluttering your closet.

Tops 

If you have the space to hang everything, hang everything. You’ll wear things more if you can see them.

Sweaters 

Fold the very heavy sweaters so they don’t lose shape on the hanger.  Also, cedar is not a myth. It really does prevent moths from getting into your cashmere or wool sweaters. Replace the cedar every six months.  Color code sweaters by weight, and use dividers or cubbies. Use a sweater folding board to make perfect folds. 

Jeans 

There are a number of ways to do so—by cut, brand, color, style, size, or none of the above. Some people go by color and most prefer it that way, unless they’re die-hard jeans collectors.
Hang by the hem and organize by dark to light denim.

Pants/Skirts/Shorts 

Hang them using clips and fold in the sides so the outside of the garment isn’t marked by the clips. This also makes everything look uniform on the hanger and gives it a cleaner side profile in your closet.

Dresses 

Hang by color rather than length and start with strapless and go to long-sleeve. Never leave your dresses, or any other clothes, in the dry cleaning or plastic garment bags. The chemicals from dry cleaning attack the fibers of your clothing and cause damage.

Bags/Scarves/Hats 

It’s hard to change bags if you can’t see them. They don’t generally get damaged out of their dust bags, so enjoy the view. Scarves folded in piles by color and material works best, and makes it easy to pull one out without ruining the organization of the rest. I have a scarf hanger and it works well. For hats, use hat boxes. Take uniform photos of the hats and glue them to the outside of the boxes.

Shoes 

Organize shoes by color and style. You could  hide tennis shoes and flip-flops in the least seen place. My son puts them in a row in his hall as a kind of sneaker exhibition. Since the shoes are super and well cared for, it looks great.

Lingerie 

Organize by color, size, and type. Make sure to rotate your bras and underwear so you’re not wearing the same few all of the time. 

Jewelry 

A built-in drawer in one’s closet or dresser in order to keep things neat and uncluttered works well. It’s also a great way to see what you have and makes it easy to keep hidden from plain sight. Other people like the easy accessiblility of necklace "trees". I have a pretty bamboo box and a special wooden watch case with a glass top so I can admire them.

Image courtesy of The Coveteur.

Is simplicity minimalism?

I am cat sitting in a big house and it is all too MUCH!

That house is full, the garage is full, the basement is full and there are about twenty balls from the kids in the garden. A case of mixing up quantity with quality of life.

All this stuff needs to be organized, stored, cared for and, above all, used. Objects just stay where they fall. It's freakin' me out!

The house was starting to smell so I had to clean out the cat toilet. Errm, I didn't feel much like breakfast after that. The cats bring me lovely, heart-warming gifts like half-dead moles to appreciate. So I need to get rid of those somehow, too. And to think I used to love getting presents!

It's not like I don't appreciate the love for pets. But they surely don't fit into my lifestyle. 

I prefer to take care of things that don't stink - like the flowers on my balcony. Yet I have to find someone who plant-sits when I take a trip. At least in the summer. Minimalism would mean no plants or only cacti, I suppose.

Is simplicity minimalism? Can you feel joyous without owning masses of stuff or animals? 

I've offered a bedroom to airbnb. My first guest comes this evening. I hope it works out well. Even though I've cut back on stuff, I still have the statues that please me. Otherwise, I don't have much to take if someone decides to steal. Oh well, let's not assume the worst...

Still, polishing up the room for my guest, I became aware of the "too-manys" - shoes and clothes and the shelves or closets to store them. My pledge - I shall pare down to one clothes closet and discard the shoes I don't wear at all. Confession: I still have an extra clothes rack full of THINGS. Yes, my closet runneth over.