265 books sold and about 1000 to go

265 books sold!

I have been selling books for about 11 months now and have managed to give 265 books new homes. It is tedious and I wish it would go faster.

I feel a bit bogged down in my efforts to downsize. I keep buying stuff even though I have more than enough. Today it was an ipad air.

Still, I really believe that if I have bought the things, I should be aware of them and give them homes. The trouble is, I am not always sure where those things/homes are!

Never give up! I'll keep on with the quest.

Perfect Self-Management in 52 Weeks: Stress-Less Holidays

Perfect Self-Management in 52 Weeks: Stress-Less Holidays

We are rolling into the holidays and before the flow turns into an avalanche, stop and prepare. From the pressures to spend, eat too much, or to arrange the ultimate celebration, the holidays can generate extreme stress. We often get caught up in unrealistic expectations for the holidays (encouraged by the media which stands to profit richly from all the "too much"!!)

Sure, the holiday season brings plenty of joy, but it can also be a bit crazy. A frenzied holiday schedule that's packed with parties, family gatherings, and last-minute shopping can easily become a recipe for stress that could be detrimental your health.

Furthermore, when we relentlessly push ourselves to check off tasks from our extensive “to-do” lists—we frequently end up with severe holiday exhaustion that prevents us from enjoying (or appreciating) the moment. Caught in the trap, we transform a holiday—a potentially enriching celebratory event—into an exhausting drama!

First of all,  ask yourself and your family, “what is our  INTENTION for”:

- Buying (or making) a gift for someone?

- Creating (or attending) a celebratory event?

- Decorating?

- Cooking and Baking?

- Wrapping gifts?

First, notice if your intentions include perfectionist tendencies or being overly concerned with, “What do other people expect”?  If you identify these stress-generating intentions, then remember that you can’t control what anyone else thinks. So, consider focusing your energies on what you can control. And what you and your Close Ones really want.

Next, shed light on and mesh with positive intentions. For example, when it comes to gift giving: “I’m buying a gift for my mother to express love and affection. I don’t need to compete with other family members by spending more than I can afford.”

And, when it comes to attending a celebratory event: “I’m going to my friend’s holiday party to connect with people I care about and to have fun”. If your intention for going is “because it is expected of me”, don’t go.

If you feel like you have to prepare a big bash for all friends, past and present, ask yourself why. Sometimes the reason is guilt or the obligation to pay back past invitations. Don’t. At least not now. If you can’t get over these crippling and stressful feelings, postpone the party until summer!

After clarifying your intentions toward various holiday activities (especially the ones that feel stressful), spend a few minutes jotting down your thoughts on paper.

Chances are you can't make every party, enjoy every holiday activity, or visit with every relative this holiday season, so decide what your priorities will be and graciously decline everything else. If something unexpected comes up, make time for it by eliminating another engagement in your agenda. Don’t add on!

Avoid last-minute scrambling by streamlining your holiday shopping and preparation. Plan ahead, create a budget, make a shopping list, and research your purchases in advance. Shop online when possible. DON’T WAIT TOO LONG TO START!  Prep and bake whatever you can for holiday meals in advance. Line up some helpers for gift-wrapping, meal contributions, party preparation, and especially clean-up. The magic word “DELEGATE” takes on new meaning.

If you need a break while shopping, decorating your home, or cooking, then listen to your body and momentarily hit the “pause button.” Then, head for a café (or your kitchen table), sit down, and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. If you are home, consider taking a short nap. Resting, regrouping, and recharging leads to increased positive mind/body energy.

It's okay to say "No." The family has always depended on you to "manage" the holidays. There's an implicit expectation that you attend the company-sponsored holiday party. You feel an obligation to family and friends to play a part in holiday celebrations. There just may not be a good reason to do any of those things. Do yourself a favor and experience the relief of saying "No."

Research shows people gain an average of one to two pounds over the holidays.  There are some tricks for avoiding extra pounds and getting healthier at the same time.

1) Use cold weather for ice skating, snow walking, skiing, sledding.

2) Take your Daily-Walk-For-Life. It doesn’t need to take more than 10-15 minutes but should be taken in the fresh air. Could you walk around your building quickly? How about an energetic march around the block? Doesn’t somebody’s dog need a stroll?

3) Check if at least some of your recipes can be “downsized”. Do you have to use butter, tons of eggs and masses of sugar?

4) Eat your usual healthy meals, even on party days. That way, you’ll eat less of the “fat makers” and “heart killers” at the parties.

For some reason, most people want to put every idea into action at the busiest time of year. Magazines and TV shows live from this. What would happen if you just picked one special, fun thing, like baking cookies or sending greeting cards or making wreaths for friends or. . . ?

If you want the big day to be just you and the kids,  plan a get-together with extended family on another date over the holidays. (Germany has a „Second Day of Christmas“!) Tell them you appreciate it may be hard for them, but it’s important for your family to be on your own at this time.

I’ll never forget the first time my husband and I celebrated Christmas without his parents. It was a lovely, stressless, laid-back occasion. We picked an easy meal that still seemed festive (Raclette) and enjoyed being together in a relaxed way.

Day 1: Decorate simply and quickly by choosing one item (like ornaments in trifle bowls, different sized miniature trees, or bows) and using it in abundance. For soft lighting, just add candles. How about using tea lights along window sills or across a mantle. And finally, add easy ambiance with a soft, holiday recording or use nature’s soundtrack, like a crackling fire. Intricate, complicated decorations aren't necessarily more heart-warming.

Day 2: Prepare your “emergency kit”:

- When your stress levels soar, you need to stop thinking about the stressor and turn your thoughts to a pleasant, peaceful memory. Remember the best, most relaxing vacation you ever took, the sound of a gurgling stream, the feel of the wind on your face as you sailed the blue waters off Hawaii. Make the memory as vivid as possible and sink into it.

- Breathe. Start exhaling very slowly. When you are stressed, you take shallow gasps instead of renewing breaths. This increases stressful feelings.  Take several deep breaths. Slow your breathing, especially the exhalation, and lower your breathing, so it comes from deep in your belly. Imagine you are ousting your stress with each exhalation.

- Take it easy. Often, working harder makes stress worse. Taking it easy for a while can help you more effectively eliminate or reduce stress. Take a break, give yourself some time off, and you will come back refreshed and less stressed.

- Seek a solution. Stop looking at the problem contributing to your stress and look for solutions. Focus on what you can control, not what is beyond your control.

Day 3: Social psychologist Amy Cuddy, an associate professor at Harvard Business School, gave a recent TED talk (http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html) discussing how nonverbal body language affects how we perceive ourselves. Specifically, when you stand in a posture of confidence—making yourself bigger with things like opening your shoulders, standing up straight, and putting your hands on your hips—your hormones respond accordingly. Study participants who spent two minutes in these postures had a 20% increase in testosterone levels and a 25% decrease in cortisol levels.

Today, give yourself a dose of vital hormones. Stand up straight, plaster a huge smile on your face, put your hands on your hips and take on a wide-open stance. Breathe fully and slowly. (You might sing Jingle Bells at the top of your lungs!)

Day 4: Here are some ideas for a more relaxing, enjoyable holiday:

1. For large family holiday celebrations, shopping for many people can get stressful and expensive. Opt for picking names out of a hat before the holiday. Each person can then be responsible for a gift to the one family member they pick. Set a limit to the amount that can be spent. You might make exceptions for children under 10, so that the children would still receive gifts from their different relatives.

2. Consider potluck meals.

3. Remember to keep your sense of humor. When the dog eats the turkey, think about how funny a story it will be in a few years. If it will be funny later, laugh now.

My Mom loves the anecdote about how she forgot to turn on the oven to bake the turkey. All the guests arrived and she triumphantly went to get the turkey out of the oven. Ooopps!

4. Give yourself some time off; take some time by yourself. During this time you can read, go for a walk, exercise, or rejuvenate with a relaxation exercise. Practice mindfulness throughout the day: The present can only be the way it is; you need to enjoy the moment. To do so, let go of thoughts like "I wish this or that were different”. Then enjoy a breath or other present moment sensation and relax one of your muscle groups. Doing this many times a day will decrease your overall stress level.

5. The holidays involve waiting in lines in stores, airports and/or traffic. You might chose the shortest line at the department store, but it ends up being, by far, the slowest line. As you think of your list of other errands, you become more and more irritated. Instead, realize that if you want to make your purchases, you need to stay in one line.

Simply think about how busy you usually are. Waiting in line gives you the perhaps rare opportunity to just relax. You could list the things in life for which you are grateful, listen to your ipod, meditate on your breath, talk to one of the other customers or look at a magazine. If you, instead, are waiting in traffic, you could enjoy some relaxing music. You are not getting anywhere faster by stewing.

Speaking of standing in line, don’t! Can you shop early or at times that aren’t so busy? What would happen if you developed a plan to buy ONE gift each day instead of a marathon shopping spree? Buy less so you are not poor come January!

6. Everyone gets a few days off from school or work to celebrate the holidays and we all get the same brilliant idea: visit family. It’s only heartwarming until you get to the airport, where the lines are long and the delays are rampant or with the car where the traffic jams up relentlessly. 

Here are a few ways to ease your way through it:

-Make reservations early. In fact, do it right now if you haven’t already. The longer you wait the more you pay.

--Can you travel at times when others aren’t?  Flying on Christmas Day can be much cheaper. On your day of departure, whether by plane or car, schedule early morning or late night travel. Waking up early or staying up late is definitely worth it, considering you get to avoid all the jam-packed roads and airport security checkpoints.

-Travel light. Especially if you’re flying. If you only take a carry-on and print your boarding pass at home, you can skip the check-in line and go straight to security.

-Prepare for delays. The weather is unpredictable, so brings books, snacks, and maybe even your laptop or tablet so you can entertain yourself in case you get stuck somewhere.

-Smile more. In fact, just be generally friendly. Especially in an airport. You’ll be surprised how much better people treat you.

Today, decide how, when (and why!) you are going to travel. Consider traveling earlier or later than the masses. Make your reservations, if necessary, immediately!

7. Stay active.  When you exercise, your brain releases multiple mood-enhancing chemicals that can help relieve the effects of stress. Aim for at least 20 minutes of aerobic or core-strengthening exercise most days of the week. If you don't have time to go to the gym, fit fitness in whenever you can. Get up a half hour earlier and do an at-home exercise routine or devote part of your lunch break to taking a power walk. Why not get a few co-workers to join you!

Today, make a plan for a stress-less holiday. What (new) measures are you and your family going to take? You’ll need to talk to your close family and discuss what the goals and intentions are.

Day 5: What are three things you love about the upcoming holiday? What could you do to have these three things and enjoy the process of getting there? 

Who are the most important people to you. How can you share the upcoming holiday with them?

What did you do for the last holidays that wore you out and took the joy out of everything? How can you avoid that this time around?

Today, develop a stress-less holiday plan. Downsize whenever possible. Minimalize to enjoy a concentrated holiday "jus" that suits you and yours.

Now go enjoy your weekend! Perhaps with visions of sugar plums?

52 Weeks to Perfect Self-Management: Self-Discipline

52 Weeks to Perfect Self-Management: Self-Discipline

Imagine what you could accomplish if you could simply get yourself to follow through on your best intentions no matter what. Picture yourself saying to your body, “You’re overweight. Lose 20 pounds.” Without self-discipline that intention won’t happen. But with adequate self-discipline, it’s a done deal. The peak of self-discipline: when you make a conscious decision, it’s virtually guaranteed you’ll follow through on it.

What Is Self-Discipline?

Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state. If it needs to be done, do it. Now.

Self-discipline is one of many personal development tools available to you. Of course it is not a magic wand. Still, the problems which self-discipline can solve are important, and while there are other ways to solve these problems, self-discipline absolutely shreds them. Self-discipline can empower you to overcome any addiction or lose any amount of weight. It can wipe out procrastination, disorder, and ignorance. Within the domain of problems it can solve, self-discipline is simply unmatched. Moreover, it becomes a powerful teammate when combined with other tools like zeal, goal-setting, and planning.

Building Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you train it, the stronger you become. The less you train it, the weaker you become.  Just as it takes muscle to build muscle, it takes self-discipline to build self-discipline.

Progressive training means that once you succeed, you increase the challenge. If you keep working out with the same weights, you won’t get any stronger. Similarly, if you fail to challenge yourself in life, you won’t gain any more self-discipline.

Don’t attempt to push yourself too hard when trying to build self-discipline. If you aim to transform your entire life overnight by setting dozens of new goals for yourself and expecting yourself to follow through consistently starting the very next day, disappointment is almost inevitable.

If you’re undisciplined right now, you can still use what little discipline you have to build more. The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets. Challenges that were once impossible for you will eventually seem like child’s play.

Let’s consider an example.

Suppose you want to develop the ability to do 8 solid hours of work each day, since you know it will make a real difference in your career. A study showed the average office worker spends 37% of his time in idle socializing, not to mention other vices that chew up more than 50% of work time with unproductive non-work.

Perhaps you try to work a solid 8-hour day without succumbing to distractions, and you can only do it once. The next day you don’t make it. That’s OK. You did one “rep” of 8 hours. Two is too much for you (at the moment). So cut back a bit. By raising the bar just a little each week, you stay within your capabilities and grow stronger over time.

What duration would allow you to successfully do 5 reps (i.e. a whole week)?

Day 1:  Could you work with concentration for one hour a day, five days in a row? If you can’t do that, cut back to 30 minutes or whatever you can do. If you succeed (or if you feel that would be too easy), then increase the challenge next week. Once you’ve mastered a week at one level, take it up a notch the next week. And continue with this progressive training until you’ve reached your goal. Track your progress.

Day 2: If you want to increase your self-discipline, you must know where you stand right now. How strong is your discipline at this moment? Which challenges are easy for you, and which are seem impossible to you?

Here’s a list of challenges to get you thinking about where you stand right now (in no particular order):

• Do you shower/bathe every day?
• Do you get up at the same time every morning? Including weekends?
• Are you overweight?
• Do you have any addictions (caffeine, nicotine, sugar, etc.) you’d like to break but haven’t?
• Is your email inbox empty right now?
• Is your office neat and well organized?
• Is your home neat and well organized?
• How much time do you waste in a typical day? On a weekend?
• If you make a promise to someone, what’s the percentage chance you’ll keep it?
• If you make a promise to yourself, what’s the percentage chance you’ll keep it?
• Could you fast for one day?
• How well organized is your computer’s hard drive?
• How often do you exercise?
• How many hours of focused work do you complete in a typical workday?
• How many items on your to-do list are older than 90 days?
• Do you have clear, written goals? Do you have written plans to achieve them?
• If you lost your job, do you have an emergency fund with money enough to cover your costs for eight months?
• How much TV do you currently watch? Could you give up TV for 10 days? 30 days?
• How do you look right now? What does your appearance say about your level of discipline (clothes, grooming, etc)?
• Do you snack on unhealthy “foods”?
• When was the last time you consciously adopted a positive new habit? Discontinued a bad habit?
• Are you in debt? Do you consider this debt an investment or a mistake?
• Can you tell me what you’ll be doing tomorrow? Next weekend?
• On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your overall level of self-discipline?
• What more could you accomplish if you could answer that last question with a 9 or 10?

There are different areas of self-discipline: disciplined sleep, disciplined diet, disciplined work habits, disciplined communication, etc. It takes different exercises to build discipline in each area.

Today, identify an area where your discipline is weakest, assess where you stand right now, acknowledge and accept your starting point, and design a training program for yourself to improve in this area. Start out with some easy exercises you know you can do, and gradually progress to greater challenges.

Progressive training works with self-discipline just as it does with building muscle. For example, if you can barely get out of bed at 10am, are you likely to succeed at waking up at 5am every morning? Probably not. But could you master getting up at 9:45am? Very likely. And once you’ve done that, could you progress to 9:30 or 9:15? Sure!

Day 3: Self-discipline can be considered a type of selective training, creating new habits of thought, action, and speech toward improving yourself and reaching goals. 
View self-discipline as positive effort, rather than one of denial.

Today: Schedule a small task for a given time of the day

Schedule a particular task in the morning and once in the evening.

▪                The task should not take more than 15 minutes.

▪                Wait for the exact scheduled time.
When the schedule time is due, start the task.

▪                Stick to the schedule for at least two months.

Advantages: Scheduling helps you focus on your priorities. 
By focusing on starting tasks rather than completing them, you can avoid procrastination.


▪                Schedule a task and hold to its time;
 Avoid acting on impulse.

▪       Track your progress;
 At the end of the allotted time, keep a record of accomplishment that builds over time.

Advantage: Keeping a record will help you track how much time tasks take.


Harness the power of routine.

▪    Instead of devoting a lot of hours one day, and none the other and then a few on an another day and so on, allocate a specific time period each day of the week for that task.

▪      Hold firm.

▪      Don't set a goal other than time allocation, 
simply set the habit of routine.

▪      Apply this technique to your tasks, homework, goals or your projects.

Advantage: You are working on tasks in small increments, not all at once. You first develop a habit, then the habit does the job for you.


Day 4: When you discipline yourself to do what is hard, you gain access to a realm of results that are denied everyone else. The willingness to do what is difficult is like having a key to a special private treasure room.

Disciplining yourself to be industrious allows you to squeeze more value out of your time. Time is a constant, but your personal productivity is not.

Today, pick out one chore, goal, to-do or “procrastinated task” and get it done. Something that takes self-discipline muscle. Celebrate yourself and self-discipline. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!

Day 5: Self-discipline requires that you develop the capacity to put in the time where it’s needed, when it’s needed. A lot of messes are created when we refuse to put in the time to do what needs to be done — and to do it correctly. Such messes range from a messy desk or cluttered email inbox all the way down to an exercise program or eating correctly. Big mess or small mess — take your pick. Either way a significant contributing factor is the refusal to do what needs to be done.

You know what you need to do. It might take a long time, even a few years, to build the strength and discipline to be able to do it on a consistent basis. THIS WILL NOT BE EASY!

Persistence is the ability to maintain action regardless of your feelings. You press on even when you feel like quitting.

Today: Can you identify a part of your life where you’ve demonstrated a positive example of long-term persistence? If you can identify such an area, it may provide a clue to your mission — something you can work towards where passion and self-discipline function synergistically. Take a few minutes and write this down.

Time for a well-earned weekend. Enjoy the fruits of your improved self-discipline.