If your horse is dead, get off!

Change to the life you really want!

Downsizing & decluttering your life doesn't only mean STUFF.

Most of us drag things along with us - even though certain people, objects, projects, tasks, etc. aren't serving the same positive intent as when we first began. Often we are well-intentioned people with unrealistic ideas. 

 

Dead horses are all of the "shouldas", “shouldn’tas” and "couldas" that constrain our lives. Generally, we're completely unaware of them.  They show up as the obstinate demands and expectations we, and others, make on ourselves.

These dead horses are forever bursting into our careers, popping up in our ways of life or in our relationships. Nevertheless, we continue to try riding our dead horses despite the fact that they send us into states of disappointment, anxiety, anger, frustration, resentment and perhaps depression.

I don't know if you are spending precious time and energy attempting to resuscitate your dead horses, agonizingly lugging them into today, tonight, tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. We make ourselves believe that if we just try harder, keep on keeping on, these dead horses will come back to life better than ever. Or well tell ourselves that if we are less demanding, these dead horses will generate renewed energy and live to ride again.

Or maybe we are hoping that a miracle will happen and our dead horses will suddenly become healthy again so we can ride off into the sunset. Yeah right - and Gandalf is a real person.

Maybe we're rationalizing that our horse really isn't dead; that all it needs is some tried-and-true denial. So we reject reality and distract ourselves from the truth of our situation. And after days, weeks, months and years of resisting, rejecting, and distracting ourselves, we're still waiting for the dead horse to show some life, and so we wait…

Some of us tread softly through life to arrive safely at death's door. It makes Auntie Mame's words, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death," take on greater meaning. We put off until tomorrow rather than challenge today. 

There may be ‘50 ways to leave your lover’, but how do you know when the time is right to get out?

I just confronted one of my dead horses. It is a seminar that I was asked to give years ago. I never felt comfortable with it and the percentage of good executions were low. I told the people who sub-contract me that 2013 would be my last year doing it.

And here comes the real joke. They asked me to try again, and I weakened. Now, I really bombed on the thing last Monday.

Does this sound familiar?

If your horse is dead, cut your losses and dismount!

Generate a vibrant, positive vision for your future. See it, say it, meditate on it, write it down, hone in on it at every red light. If you discover yourself thinking you're too old, too poor, too weak, or too needy to make a change, chuckle in your own face.

Letting go hurts. But staying, or keeping on with something unhealthful for you,  means being buried alive. The adage “Never give up!” needs to be rethought.

Take a minute or two to consider any "dead horses" you may be riding.