I am now in Kentucky with my sister, enjoying checking out old haunts and being amazed at its growth since we left many, many years ago. We are here to inter the ashes of our parents, which is saddening but satisfying. That was their wish.
Life seems to be to be a series of patches, making up a giant patchwork quilt! I am not sure what the unit of measure is. For me, it seems to be a period of about 10 years. Slightly more.
Looking back, I can discern phases of my life that were essential and made a difference, perhaps even a large change, in my life. Moving to Germany, learning the language and the way of life, having children and leading them toward a vision filled with important values, separation and new start. I stumbled into a whole new vocation while slowly leaving my old behind. I wrote books and they were published. Now that my parents are gone, I feel like it is up to me to strive forward (without being as stoic as that sounds) and make the most of the final chapters of my life, of course hoping that these chapters are long and exciting.
One of my new patches will contain being more in the present.
Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what's past. "We're living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence," says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace. We're always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.
When we're at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don't appreciate the living present because our "monkey minds," as Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree.
It is amazing how often I catch myself in another time than the now! Getting caught in memories which, in turn, stimulate emotions. Often, these emotions aren't helpful in the least! But now, at least, I am becoming aware of this tendency and can stop myself, pulling myself back into the present moment. Watching my breathing and watching my thoughts "as an observer" are helping enormously.
How are your "patches" shaping up?
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