A purgatory of well-intentioned STUFF

OMG!! I’ve cleaned my office table and folded it up (to prevent further clutter)!! Then I was on a roll so I did my desk. The next day, I organized and put away a pile of seminar papers. That took 1 ½ hours!

I had been walking around all these „projects“ for over a year (or more). I needed a push, some motivation. Yet, the way I really started wasn’t even spectacular – I just set a timer for twenty minutes and gave myself the option of stopping when the timer went off.

Like Speedy Gonzales, I tore into the stuff, racing against the clock, er, timer. I brought things back to their original homes, threw away, - decided, decided, decided. When the timer went off, I had made so much progress that I kept on until the finish.

My problem is not only the incoming volume of stuff; it's that I delay making decisions about what to do with it. That's why, during PROJECT OFFICE, everything that served no essential work purpose was dumped into containers to be donated or packed into trash or recycling. I told myself I could keep whatever I wanted. But I had to make a decision to keep it (and where was its designated home). The minute I say, 'I'll deal with it later,' the battle is lost.

Now that I've cleared my desk, the table, the floor, etc., I need to set limits for the future: In my case, I’ll leave the table folded up so I can’t dump on it when in a hurry. It must be easy and fast to put things away or I’ll get impatient when times are stressful. And I need to carve out five minutes at the end (or beginning) of each day to clear surface areas.

At the moment, I am relaxed enough to follow the rule „After you use it, put it back where it belongs“. I don’t even need the 5-minute-Blitzclean.

And the ultimate test is yet to come: I am giving away my TV/DVD!! It is kind of scary. That said from a woman who never watches TV at all in the USA! Because, in America, I am on vacation (of sorts). I read, socialize, take drives to beautiful places. Well yes, I also go shopping (blush). Here in Germany, I watch TV completely exhausted from the day. I zap during commercials or because the shows are boring. I snack while watching. I fall asleep in front of the thing and peel myself out of the easy chair at 1 a.m. These are habits I don’t want to cultivate!

By de-cluttering and organizing, it's like you open up an energetic space to get things done. I got so excited that I went on and organized my apartment, too. Including (or especially) the dreaded kitchen!

5 Steps to Kick-Start Your Clutter Cleaning

by Peter Walsh

Step 1: Get Real

Do you remember the last time you parked in your garage? How about the last time you saw what color your basement carpet is? If you had to step over piles of clothes, papers and unidentifiable "stuff" just to get to your computer, it's time to take action. And chances are if you're shuffling papers just to read this—before you can even choose a room to declutter—you need to ask yourself, What's really going on underneath all that junk?

Studies show that although families are smaller, homes are larger than ever. Even with more square feet of living space, many Americans still fill attics, basements and storage units with clutter. Blame it on our super-size mentality, but more is not necessarily better. Things cannot bring us happiness. If your house is full of clutter, all the blessings that could fill your house can't get in.

The good news is it doesn't matter where you start. Just grab a trash bag and start dancing what I call the Trash Bag Tango.

http://www.oprah.com/home/Learn-How-to-Do-the-Trash-Bag-Tango

Step 2: Realize There Are Two Types of Clutter

Most people have two kinds of clutter: memory clutter or "I-might-need-it-one-day" clutter. However, we all struggle with the 'lazy clutter' and that's what we need to tackle first.

Lazy clutter is all the stuff that accumulates out of negligence over time. It's not stuff you care too much about, so you ignore it: un-filed papers, unopened junk mail, magazines, unwanted gifts or that freebie cap you brought home from the grocery store but will never wear. Lazy clutter is little more than trash and one of the few purposes it serves is to accumulate on every flat surface in your home.

Memory clutter reminds us of some important person or event or achievement in the past—it's sentimental and often hardest to part with. "I-might-need-it-one-day" clutter is all that stuff that you know you might need...maybe. For the kick start, don't make the tough decisions that come with dealing with memory clutter or "I-might-need-it-one-day clutter." The first step is to take on the lazy clutter, then go through your other belongings methodically and logically. You'll learn how to balance the stuff you want to own with the space you have for it. When you find this balance, you'll learn how to keep it.

For now, stick to the quick-and-dirty purge and get rid of the superficial stuff that is relatively easy to clear.

Step 3: Think F.A.S.T.!

Until further notice, do not go out and buy anything new and unnecessary—no retail therapy, no "great deals" and no sales! Instead, purge as much clutter as possible as quickly as you can using the F.A.S.T. method. Here's a step-by-step breakdown on how to clean house and get organized.

F: Fix a time. Schedule a time that suits everyone involved. Cleaning up is a family affair, so get everyone on board by scheduling your kick start at a time that works for everyone and make attendance mandatory! Set aside a Saturday or a Sunday, or a few hours every day, to start the process.

A: Anything not used in 12 months. Face it: If you haven't used an item in the last year, it is highly unlikely you really need it or that you are going to ever get enough use out of it to justify it cluttering up your home. Take the plunge and get rid of it! Ask yourself these questions as you encounter each piece of clutter:

• Do I use this?
• How long has it been since I've used it?
• Will I use it again?
• Is it worth the space it takes up in my house?

Remember: The objective is to get stuff out of your home, not to move it into another room. You will be amazed by the sheer volume of unused and unneeded items in your home. Don't spend time inventing reasons to keep these things.

S: Someone else's stuff. It's bad enough when clutter is your own, but it is totally crazy when the clutter belongs to someone else. Your house should not contain anything that doesn't belong to you. If it's something you've borrowed, give it back. If you've ended a relationship or gotten a divorce, now's the time to let your ex's belongings go. If your kids have established their own households, it's time for them to pick their stuff up.

T: Trash. The trash can is your friend. It is your very hungry friend. Take pride in how much you throw away and make it fun. Compete with your family members to see who tosses the most or award a prize to the best purger. Remember the goal: You only want to keep the amount of stuff that makes sense for your space.

Step 4: Learn the Game Rules

You have the plan and the room, now do it! Here are some guidelines that should keep you on track to a clutter-free home.

Start on time. You have a lot of work ahead of you! Your commitment to this project is your first step toward creating the life you want to have. Don't put it off for another second.

Don't argue. Have the whole family work together on one area so you can give one another guidance. Listen with respect when you talk about whether to keep something. Remember, save the hard decisions for later and don't argue about whose stuff is taking up all the space.

Don't waste time. Now is not the time to take a trip down memory lane. Touch each item once, make a decision and move on. Also, no breaks or phone calls. This is a workday!

Make your piles. Move stuff out of the room and into three piles: trash, keep and donate. As you do, assess your progress. Remember, the trash pile should be growing—and quickly.

Don't stop until you're done. The last thing you want is to end the day with a bigger mess than when you started. Finish the job. Bag up all the trash and put it in bins. Return all the "keep" items to their proper places. Move your charity donations to a specific location, drop them off or prepare them for pickup.

Evaluate and congratulate. As you finish the quick purge, you will make discoveries. You may find yourself feeling attached to things you know you shouldn't keep. One family member may want to keep something another one doesn't. Take the time to discuss your discoveries from the day.

Step 5: Do It All Over Again

Have you ever noticed shampoo bottles always say "wet hair, lather, rinse, repeat"? If you follow those circular instructions, you'll be shampooing your hair until the end of time.

Not so with the kick start, but you will need to move through your house methodically, getting rid of unnecessary clutter until you've done every room. Only then will you be ready for the hard part—letting go of the stuff that feels valuable or important.

This quick purge is just a primer, but it will fill you with excitement and a real sense of what conquering clutter can achieve. Now that you've cleared away the first level of clutter, you're ready to tackle the real issues. Open up your space and unclutter your mind!

Source: Oprah.com

12 Quiet Rituals of Enormously Successful Humans

May your actions speak louder than your words.  

May your life preach louder than your lips.  

May your success be your noise in the end.

The result of enormous success is often pretty noisy – lots of people talking, writing and sharing stories about it.  The actual process of achieving enormous success, on the other hand, is far more discreet.  But it’s this process that happens quietly, behind-the-scenes, that makes all the difference in the world.

Regardless of lifestyle, industry or profession of enormously successful human beings, they all share many of the same quiet rituals. 

Here are twelve things the most successful people do quietly and diligently:

1.  They have calm, consistent morning routines.

Too many books and courses on personal success act like we’re robots, and completely overlook the enormous power of our emotions.  The less frenzied emotions we have at the start of the day, the less we will have all day.  Because when we start the day in a calm, mindful state, it’s easy to focus and get the right things done.

But when we wake up and stress is already upon us – phones ringing, emails and texts dinging, fire alarms going off – you spend the whole day reacting, instead of being proactive.  This means you’re not in the driver’s seat working on your priorities – the things that drive success – you’re simply responding to what gets thrown at you, whether it’s important or not.

Try to have the first hour of your day vary as little as possible.  A trusted routine can be extremely effective in helping you feel in control and non-reactive, which reduces anxiety and stress, and therefore makes you more mindful and competent.  The bottom line is that how you start the day has an enormous effect on your overall effectiveness.

2.  They eliminate all needless busywork.

At some point we all wonder, “Why is it so impossible to get everything done?”  But the answer is stunningly simple: We’re doing too many of the wrong things.

Several research studies have shown that people never get more done by blindly working more hours on everything that comes up.  Instead, they get more done when they follow careful plans that measure and track key priorities and milestones.  So if you want to be more successful and less stressed, don’t ask how to make something more efficient until you’ve first asked, “Do I need to do this at all?”

Simply being able to do something well does not make it the right thing to do.  One of the most common problems with a lot of time-management advice; too often productivity gurus focus on how to do things quickly, but the vast majority of things people do quickly should not be done at all.

So do your best to focus on what’s truly important, and not much else.  (Read Getting Things Done.)

3.  They do what needs to be done, TODAY!

While everyone else is talking about it, successful people are quietly doing it.

It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action.  There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.  It’s as simple as that.

Successful people know that a good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed someday.  They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right day” or the “right (impossible) circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear and nothing more.  They take action here and now, today – because that’s where real progress happens.

4.  They gradually turn life’s obstacles around.

Many of the most iconic novels, songs and inventions of all time were inspired by gut-wrenching pain and heartbreak.  Therefore, the silver lining of these great challenges is that they were the catalyst to the creation of epic masterpieces.

An emerging field of psychology called Post-Traumatic Growth has suggested that many people are able to use their hardships and traumas for substantial creative and intellectual development.  Specifically, researchers have found that trauma can help people grow in the areas of interpersonal relationships, contentment, gratitude, personal strength, and resourcefulness.

When our view of the world as a safe place, or as a certain type of place, has been shattered, we are forced to reboot our perspective on things.  We suddenly have the opportunity to look out to the periphery and see things with a new, fresh set of beginner’s eyes, which is very conducive to personal growth and long-term success. 

5.  They learn by stretching themselves to their limits.

You learn best when you’re stretching yourself beyond your previous level of comfort.

Sure, getting into a routine is great.  “Flow” is great too.  But neither is the best way to learn.  You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability sometimes.  It needs to be hard and uncomfortable.  That’s how your brain grows.  We learn when we’re in our discomfort zone.

When you’re struggling, that’s when you’re growing stronger and smarter.  The more time you spend there, the faster you learn.  It’s better to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes growing, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running in place.  You want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability, stretching yourself over and over again, making mistakes, stumbling, learning from those mistakes and stretching yourself even farther.

6.  They turn to their intuition when making tough decisions.

Intuition is very real and something that is never wise to ignore, because it comes from deep within your subconscious and is derived from your previous life experiences.  If everyone else is telling you “yes” but your gut is telling you otherwise, it’s usually for a good reason.  When faced with difficult decisions, seek out all the information you can find, become as knowledgeable as you possibly can, and then listen to your God-given instincts.

Successful people know that trusting your intuition is equivalent to trusting your true self; and the more you trust your true self, the more control you have of making your goals and dreams come true.

7.  They mindfully focus on the positive.

As Shawn Achor describes in his book The Happiness Advantage, a recent scientific study showed that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster.  The same study then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%.  Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers.  So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.

Of course, that’s not to say that successful people never get upset, but your effectiveness in all walks of life will fare better if you’re able to mindfully accept and let go of negative emotions, rather than dwelling on them.  Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset. 

8.  They create visual reminders of their long-term goals.

You want to lose weight, but when you’re tired, it’s easy to rationalize that you’ll start exercising and eating right tomorrow.  You want to build a more profitable business, but when you’re caught up in the daily grind, it’s easy to just do what’s familiar instead of what’s required for growth.  You want to nurture your closest relationships, but when you’re busy, it’s easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead.

Few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out – even though easy way takes us the wrong way.

To combat this, successful people create tangible reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses.  A friend of ours who has paid off almost $100K of debt in the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance taped to his computer monitor; it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he wants to pay off.  Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the person she never wants to be again.  And another fills his desk with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind him of the people he is ultimately working for.

Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that take you farther away from your ultimate goals.  Then use visual reminders of those goals to interrupt the impulse and keep you on track.

9.  They keep some kind of personal notebook.

Oprah keeps a journal.  Eminem keeps a journal.  J.K. Rowling keeps a journal.

Successful people track their progress, set goals, reflect, and learn from their mistakes.  And they often use some kind notebook to accomplish this.  If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and this notebook is that map.  You can write down what you did today, what you tried to accomplish, where you made mistakes, and so forth.  It’s a place to reflect.  It’s a place to capture important thoughts.  It’s a place to be able to track where you’ve been and where you intend to go.  It’s one of the most underused, yet incredibly effective tools available to the masses.

10.  They have mentors they observe and consult with.

Regardless of what you’re trying to achieve, you cannot do it alone.  It can be hard to learn from books.  And sometimes the Internet makes it difficult to separate truth from fiction.  You need someone who has been where you want to go to show you the ropes – your own personal mentor or coach.

If you study the lives of enough successful people, it becomes obvious that most world-class performers in all fields – athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs, artists, etc. – had incredible mentors, coaches or role models who made the activity of practice worthwhile and rewarding.

And sometimes just observing a mentor works wonders too.  When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation.  Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness.  “Look, they did it.  I can do it too!”  It may sound overly simplistic, but spending time studying people who are great can be one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.

11.  They welcome honest feedback and criticism.

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”  That’s what Aristotle said.  And obviously, he was being facetious.

If you are being criticized for doing, saying or thinking something that’s out of the ordinary,  good.  That means you’ve taken a stand for something sometime in your life recently.  And that’s a huge part of being successful.

Follow in the footsteps of enormously successful people by learning to effectively process the criticism you receive.  Hateful and negative criticism should be received, assessed, and then let go, while constructive criticism should be evaluated and acted upon.  Solicit feedback from people whose opinions you value – people who have been where you want to go.  And remember to be gracious when receiving feedback; when you are, all the people around you will be more likely to give you their support and honest insight in the future.  (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

12. They keep their pride in check.

Last but not least…

To admit they made a mistake.  To say they are sorry.  To know that they can’t possibly know it all.  To have big dreams. To admit they owe their success to others too.  To poke fun at themselves from time to time.  To ask for help when they need it.

To make mistakes and fail.  And to try again, willingly.

There are no permanent jobs or absolutes on this planet.  We are all just interning and exploring here.  Learn from everyone, remain humble, and don’t forget to have a good time along the way.

That’s what successful people do.

Afterthoughts

If you only remember two words from this whole article, let them be: “Stretch” and “Observe.”

Stretch:  As in… stretch yourself.  Always push yourself to the edge of your ability, so you can expand it and grow.

Observe:  As in… observe your mentors and those who are more skilled than you, so you can take notes and emulate them.

The floor is yours…

What else would you add to the list?  What’s one quiet ritual that has helped you or someone you know achieve success? 

post written by: Angel Chernoff

A Rich Retirement: How to get the biggest Social Security check

A Rich Retirement: How to get the biggest Social Security check

(MoneyWatch) According to the Employee Benefit Research Institute, only two-thirds of Americans have saved for retirement and most have saved less than $25,000. The average retiree depends on Social Security for 70 percent of his or her income.

Unfortunately, Social Security just isn't equipped to fully support our ever-aging population. There are 78 million baby boomers edging toward retirement. Keep in mind, when Social Security was launched in 1940, a 21-year-old male had a 50/50 chance of living to the age of 65. Today, that same 65-year-old who had a 50/50 chance of being six feet under now has the same mortality and health as a 54-year-old did in 1947. And better health means a longer lifespan: A male reaching retirement age in 2013 is expected to live to an average of 85, a woman to 87.

· Don't make these savings mistakes

· Are you saving enough?

· Special Series: A Rich Retirement

The result? Experts say that a retirement crisis is looming. Before "too frail to work, too poor to retire" becomes the refrain, we need to change the way we're approaching saving for retirement in this country. First, people need to realize that Social Security is not a pension plan -- or even a retirement program. It's a supplemental retirement program. The other legs of your "retirement stool" -- defined contribution plans and any pensions or personal savings -- need to be stronger to compensate.

You can start collecting Social Security anytime from age 62 to 70, but the later you start, the bigger your benefit. Just how much bigger depends on when you were born. People born from 1943 to 1954 have a "normal" or "full" retirement age of 66. They get 25 percent less than their normal benefit if they cash in at 62 and 32 percent more than their normal benefit if they wait until 70. (People born later have a slightly higher "normal" retirement age and take a somewhat bigger hit for claiming their benefits early and a somewhat smaller bonus for waiting until 70.)

Say you turned 62 in June 2013 and earned $50,000 a year. You could collect about $1,011 a month as a single if you retire at 62, or $1,420 a month (in today's dollars) at your full retirement age of 66 in 2015, or $1,972 a month (again in today dollars) starting in 70 in 2019. If you're earning $150,000, the comparable monthly amounts would be $1,840 at 62, $2,501 at 66, and $3,370 at 70.

While those benefit amounts sound dramatically different, in theory the system is neutral -- meaning if you live to an average age, you'll end up with roughly the same total benefit no matter when you claim.

But that's not really true. The most obvious example is that women live longer, but benefits aren't adjusted by sex. So women are more likely to live past the "break-even age" -- that is, the age at which waiting to collect a bigger check pays off.

There is no pat answer to decide when to start collecting Social Security benefits, but there are a few guiding rules. First, if you're still working, don't claim benefits before your full retirement age. This is the rule thumb that nearly every expert can agree on. You shouldn't claim early while you're still employed unless you truly need the money to survive, because it comes with hefty penalties. Until you reach the full retirement age, for each $2 you earn in 2013 above $15,120, you lose $1 of your annual Social Security benefits. By contrast, after 66, benefits don't get cut no matter how much you earn. If you're working, try to wait. Also, don't take the money early thinking you'll make more by investing it: If you invested the money, you would need to earn more than 7 percent annually to equal what you'd make by delaying benefits until full retirement age.

A common concern is whether Social Security will even exist by the time someone is eligible to receive it, and it's a valid one: The trustees who oversee Social Security say the program's trust funds will run dry in 2033, leaving the program with only enough revenue to pay about 75 percent of benefits. Already, the program is paying out more in benefits than it collects in payroll taxes.

And people frequently aren't confident that they've saved enough on their own to retire comfortably. It's no wonder that a recent survey of Baby Boomers found that 61 percent of respondents fear outliving their retirement more than death. Think about that for just a second. People would sooner die than outlive their retirement. This uncertainty is coloring a lot of people's decision to cash in on Social Security while they know they still can. A recent survey by BMO Retirement Institute found 83 percent of retirees were influenced to start their benefits because they were concerned about the viability of the program.

My next guiding rule: Don't take Social Security until you're sure you want it. Up until December 2011, the Social Security Administration had a "do-over" strategy that had allowed seniors to file for benefits and then later repay them, without interest, to get a bigger check. In effect, you got eight years -- from 62 to 70 -- to change your mind about taking early benefits. You could even use a do-over as a way to get an interest free loan from the government. But since December 2011, you have only 12 months to change your mind after initially filing for benefits.

Finally, part of being a smart financial planner is answering tough questions like "How long do you expect to live?" A calculator on the Social Security website will give you your average life expectancy. It predicts a woman turning 62 this coming year will live to an average of 85.5 and a man of the same age to 83.4. But what about your health and your genes? There are a bunch of websites that calculate your life expectancy while taking into account your health, family history, exercise, eating, drinking and driving habits and even social relationships. If you're not in great health and you want to get some of your tax dollars back, it can make sense to start claiming Social Security as early as possible.

Deciding when to collect get a little more complicated if you're married. When a married person claims benefits, they're eligible for what they've earned or up to half of their living spouse's full retirement benefit, whichever is higher. A low earning spouse who is relying on spousal benefits takes an even bigger early claiming hit than a primary wage earner -- if he or she claims benefits at 62, they get just 35 percent of the primary earner's full retirement age check, instead of 50 percent. On the other hand, there are no extra benefits for waiting past full retirement age to claim that spousal check. That means this is the one case where no matter how you slice it, waiting past the "full retirement age" of 66 doesn't net you an extra dime.

The catch is that a spouse can't claim benefits until the earner makes a claim. So let's say a high-earning husband and non-working wife both turn 66 this year. The best financial plan is for the husband to begin claiming his benefits so his wife can collect. But not so fast! We already covered that he'll receive a bigger benefit if he waits until he's 70. He can still wait and cash in on that delayed payday by requesting that his claim and his benefits be immediately suspended. That way, he then can continue to wait for a bigger benefit, while his wife is now eligible to claim her spousal benefits.

It's tricky, but if you familiarize yourself with the basic rules, you'll be okay. Another thing to remember for married people: If one partner dies, the survivor can claim the deceased spouse's check instead of his or her own, assuming the deceased spouse's check is bigger. The general rule of thumb for married couples is that at least one partner (usually the higher earning one) should delay benefits well past 66. This is "longevity insurance" for you both.

One final thing to remember: Regardless of when you take Social Security and when you stop working, you need to enroll in Medicare when you first become eligible at 65, or you could face financial penalties in the form of higher premiums.

Source: Money Watch by Mellody Hobson

View all articles by Mellody Hobson on CBS MoneyWatch» 
Mellody Hobson is President of Ariel Investments, a Chicago-based money management firm that serves individual investors and retirement plans through its no-load mutual funds and separate accounts. Additionally, she is a regular financial contributor and analyst for CBS News and CBSNews.com.

A 4-Step Makeover for the Overspender

Suze Orman shows a spendthrift what's truly valuable.

Just a few minutes into my talk with Alice*, an unmarried 45-year-old New Yorker who has a solid job working for the city, she told me, "I am embarrassed." Despite making nearly $60,000 a year, Alice has no emergency savings. Worse yet, she owes $25,000 in old credit card bills, $8,000 in bank loans, and $11,000 on a pension advance. She often can't pay the full $1,294 monthly rent for her studio apartment and must ask her mother for help. "My financial problems are contributing to my overall unhappiness," she confided. "I need a plan." 

It's Not About the Money

My first job was to help Alice understand that, actually, it's her unhappiness that's causing her debt. She's unfulfilled in important aspects of her life—namely, the lack of a significant other and a satisfying job. It's a simple fact: We tend to spend more when we feel less-than. "Fear, shame and anger are obstacles to wealth," I told her. "You should be hopeful, not hopeless."

Pushed to the Limit

Alice lived at home with her widowed mother until four years ago, when she was able to find a reasonably priced apartment nearby. She went from paying $500 a month toward shared living expenses to owing nearly three times that amount in rent. Yet while housing eats up almost half her income, Alice rarely denies herself life's little pleasures. Each month she shells out about $165 on personal care expenses like mani-pedis and massages, as well as another $210 on cable TV and concert and theater tickets. Plus, more than $4,000 of her debt is owed on store credit cards, which tend to charge high interest rates. Her monthly expenses—including the $1,300 minimum due on her credit cards and loans taken out to cover her frequent shortfalls—are $1,500 more than her take-home pay. 

Move Back to Go Forward

I flagged a few changes in Alice's spending habits that would save her about $500 a month. Specifically, she could ditch her grooming and entertainment expenses, plus the $160 she puts toward clothing purchases. Those things may satisfy her in the short term, but their expense only contributes to her suffocating debt. Alice assured me that she's committed to reining in her spending. But even after making the cuts we discussed, she'll still come up far short of what she needs to pay her bills, let alone start saving. So I delivered my drastic plan: I want her to move back home. She can't maintain her own place and get on track with her financial goals. 

Because Alice is on the verge of defaulting on her debt payments, I also suggested that she apply for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. (Debtors must prove they have insufficient income to pay off their debts.) That step will wipe out credit card and bank loan obligations that now cost her about $900 a month. Bankruptcy isn't an easy escape; Alice will likely be denied credit for several years. But if she follows my advice, she could set aside at least $1,200 a month. Assuming a 4 percent rate of return over 20 years, she could accumulate more than $440,000 for retirement. That would serve as a great complement to the $2,700 a month she stands to collect from Social Security and a pension when she retires. 

Making It Happen

More than anything, I want Alice to focus on the long-term payoff of making extensive financial changes: achieving control—and contentment—in her life. I reminded her that her sadness and sense of powerlessness are intertwined. "I hear you, Suze," she told me through tears. I closed our conversation by sharing my heartfelt belief: "You can turn everything around. You just have to love yourself enough to make it happen." 

By Suze Orman

Suze Orman's latest book is The Money Class: How to Stand in Your Truth and Create the Future You Deserve (Spiegel & Grau). 

Live by Choice, not by Chance!

Live by choice, not by chance.  Make changes, not excuses.  Be motivated, not manipulated.  Work to excel, not compete.  Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else.

Over the years, likely without your conscious knowledge, you have adopted self-limiting beliefs that are quietly sabotaging your best efforts for personal growth.  If you pay close attention to your self-talk, these beliefs will reveal themselves in the form of excuses.

Truth be told, if you really want something, you will find a way.  If you don’t, you will find an excuse… and then you will live with that excuse every day of your life.

This is precisely what makes so many of us unhappy.

Stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it happen.

NO more negativity.  NO more laziness.  NO more quick fixes.  NO more blaming others.  NO more “I’ll do it tomorrows.”  NO MORE OF THESE EXCUSES:

1. “It’s too late.” – It’s never too late to live a life that makes you proud.  If you don’t learn anything else from this post, learn that.  We get one shot at this.  There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t authentic is a tragic waste.   Honestly, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being.  There’s no time limit – you can simply start and stop whenever you want.  You can change or stay the same.  You can make the best or the worst of it.  It’s up to you, so make the best of it.  Do things that startle you.  Feel things you’ve never felt before.  Spend time with people who help you grow.  Live a life you’re proud of.  And if you find that you’re not, have the courage to make a change.
2. “I’m not good enough yet.” – Nonsense!  Do your best and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.  If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, and changing the world for the better.  We can’t make anything valuable without making mistakes.  Not a painting, not a relationship, not a career, not a life.  If you wait until you have it all figured out to try, you will be waiting forever.
3. “I need approval first.” – Don’t be scared to step out of line.  It’s OK to go off the beaten path, as long as you know why going a different way is right for you.  Some people may resent the freedom that you create in your life when you choose to be true to yourself.  If you come across these people, ignore them and carry on.  Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself.  If you’re being true to yourself and it isn’t enough for the people around you, change the people around you.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
4. “I don’t want to be judged.” – Most people are judging you far less than it seems.  The truth is, while you’re busy worrying about what others think of you, they’re busy worrying about what you think of them.  Crazy?  Yes, but true.  The good news is this knowledge instantly frees you to let loose and do more of what YOU want.  And while doing so, you’ll also liberate others to do the same.
5. “I don’t deserve it.” – There are two versions of this excuse.  The first makes you think that you are not worthy of something beautiful like love, respect, success and so forth.  The second makes you feel that you are unfairly targeted by life’s difficulties.  Either way, this excuse ties you up and holds you down.  It’s time to let this one go!  When you catch yourself wondering “Why me?”, ask “Why not me?”  Remember, in the grand scheme of things, you are just the same as everyone else; neither nature, nor God, displays favoritism or unfairness.  So learn to accept both the good and the bad that falls on your plate with grace.
6. “I have way too much to lose.” – In the end, you will not regret the things you have done nearly as much as the things you have left undone.  It’s always better to be left with a few “oh wells,” than a bunch of “what ifs.”  It’s better to have a lifetime full of experiences and mistakes you learned from, rather than a heart full of regrets and empty dreams.  Someday you will want to look back at your life and say, “I can’t believe I did that!” instead of, “Gosh, I wish I would have…”
7. “There’s just no point.” – Not with that attitude there isn’t.  A statement like this is self-defeat at it’s worst, and yet I hear it so often.  Snap out of it!  There is a point… The point is you’re helping yourself and others.  The point is you’re doing something positive.  The point is you’re taking action and trying.  The point is you’re not living in premature self-defeat.  You are taking your own ideas from concept to actualization.  You’re bringing value to the world.  Even if no one sees it, you can have the satisfaction of knowing you did the best you could.
8. “It’s too hard.” – Almost everything worth doing is hard.  Think about it.  When was the last time “easy” had a huge payoff for you?  In life, the hardest thing and the right thing are often the same thing.  You can’t underestimate a person who always works hard.  Be that person.  Because you don’t get what you wish for; you get what you work for.
9. “I’m unlucky.” – Not true.  Other people are NOT more lucky than you.  Pure luck is a myth.  If someone is “lucky” they are doing stuff behind the scenes you’re not seeing.  Taking action and simply doing something instead of making excuses will do wonders for your “luck.”  Ultimately, luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.
10. “I have too much baggage from my past.” – There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.  Some stories need to end before new ones can begin.  Life is too short to spend at war with yourself.  Practice acceptance and forgiveness.  Letting go of the past is your first step to happiness today. 
11.  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this to begin with.” – When we resist reality, we are imprisoned by it.  Period.  The secret to happiness and peace is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and making the best of it.  Over time you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that the easy and the hard aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting.  With a positive attitude you will almost always be pleasantly surprised.
12. “It’s out of my control.” – You cannot control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens.  In your response is your power.
13. “With my disabilities (or circumstances), it’s impossible.” – Nothing is impossible.  Josh Blue is a hilarious stand up comic with cerebral palsy.  Nick Vujicic is a world-renowned preacher and motivational speaker who doesn’t have any arms or legs.  Kyle Maynard doesn’t have arms or legs either, and he’s an ESPY Award-winning mixed martial arts athlete, a motivational speaker, and known for becoming the first quadruple amputee to ascend Mount Kilimanjaro without the aid of prosthetics.  There are artists who create with their mouths, runners who win races on artificial legs, brilliant writers whose fingers never touch the keyboard and a host of other successful individuals with physical and mental disabilities who refuse to let their circumstances hold them back. Does Stephen Hawking give up?!
14. “I can’t commit right now.” – Fair enough, you have a lot on your plate.  But when can you commit?  Don’t use this excuse to push something aside forever.  If it’s genuinely interesting, look at your calendar and ask “When can I commit?” and put yourself on a productive path.  And if you don’t want to do it, be honest and admit you’re not interested.  People will always respect honesty over being strung along.  And you will feel less stressed with unnecessary obligations too.
15. “My kids (or family) take up too much of my time.” – No doubt, balancing kids (or family) with any kind of substantial personal goal is tough.  It requires self-control and maximum use of productive rituals and disciplines.  Even so, at the end of the day you may feel shattered sometimes.  Keep it up; you’ll build endurance.  This endurance doesn’t just make you a more effective goal achiever; it allows you to enjoy family time that much more too. (Read Stress for Success, Loehr:  http://www.amazon.de/Stress-Success-James-E-Loehr/dp/0812930096 ) 
16. “I’m comfortable right now.” – The most common and harmful addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.  Why pursue greatness when you’ve already got 324 channels and a recliner?  Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now, and open doors of opportunity that would otherwise not exist.
17. “No one understands me.” – Everyone has their own life to worry about; everybody is busy.  At the end of the day, no one has the time or energy to figure anyone else out.  If it really matters to you that someone understands you, simply communicate and make it easy for them to do so.  Quit playing games and beating around the bush.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  (And remember that it’s not necessary that everyone understands and agrees with you all the time.)
18. “Nobody cares about what I care about.” – Can you imagine what would happen if everyone behind a good cause took on this attitude?  We’d never have any charitable organizations, fuel-efficient cars, health breakthroughs, peace efforts, literacy drives, etc.  Forget about everyone else for a moment.  Care about something because it’s important.  Take a stand.  If you truly care, then become a champion of the cause and help others understand why you care so much, whether they agree with you or not.  
19. “I’ve already lost too much.” – The truth is, everything will be okay in the end.  If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.  We’ve all gone through some hard times, and you, personally, will likely go through more hard times in the future too.  But it’s worth it.  It builds character and teaches necessary lessons.  I can trace some of the best stuff in my life right now to things that were really hard when I was going through them.  So when things seem like they are impossible, or you feel like you are never going to feel better, just know that you will eventually look back in amazement at how far you have come.  Yes, it’s going to be okay.
20. “I can’t go on without those who are gone.” – This final point is indeed a tough one.  You have to remember, though, if someone comes into your life and has a positive impact on you, but for some reason they can’t stay, it doesn’t make sense to mourn forever.  Instead, be thankful that your paths crossed and that they somehow made you happy, even if it was just for a short while.  Life is change.  People really do come and go.  Some come back, some don’t, and that’s okay.  And just because one person leaves, doesn’t mean you should forget about everyone else who’s still standing by your side.  Continue to appreciate what you have, and smile about the memories.

Afterthoughts

Now think about it: If I eavesdropped on your self-talk, would I hear statements that empower personal growth and happiness, or statements that refute it?

The next time you decide to unclutter your life and clean up your space, start with your intellectual space by clearing out the old excuses and negative self-talk you often recite to yourself.

The floor is yours…

What would you add to the list?  What kind of negative self-talk gets in your way?  What’s one self-defeating excuse you need to stop making?  

Source:  Marc and Angel Hack Life  Practical Tips for Productive Living