DENIAL exposed

DENIAL exposed

Who would have thought that downsizing would include a psychological meltdown? Nobody told me that I’d be confronting several of my weaknesses, or perhaps even character flaws.

In the process of downsizing, I had already donated many things from my closets and shelves. I managed that with a minimum of hysterics.

Yesterday, I finished fishing out ALL the stuff from my clothes closet that doesn’t fit, shouldn’t have bought, looks ugly on me. Emotionally, though, I was freaking out like a nun in a men’s lavatory.

First of all, I have gained twenty pounds since I bought most of the clothes that might still look nice on me. Trying to get into them was a slap in the face. No chance.

I’ve had a bad case of DENIAL and the truth was catching up with me. Rusty lies like “I won’t have lost money on this dowdy shirt unless I get rid of it” (I’d worn it once since I bought it two years ago. That was all it took to hate it.) and “I’ll keep these great pants until I get slender again” (Even though I’ve gained 4 kilograms in the last 4 months).

Denial is refusing to acknowledge that an event has occurred. The person affected simply acts as if nothing has happened, behaving in ways that others may see as bizarre. Denial is a coping mechanism that gives you time to adjust to distressing situations — but staying in denial can interfere with your ability to tackle challenges. Some experts believe that denial should be worked through subtly, empathically focusing on the personal reasons surrounding denial and seeking to strengthen the desire to change. This subtle form of addressing denial is known as motivational enhancement therapy. So my daughter is now my new coach.

Lamenting my fate isn’t getting me anywhere. Steady, effective action will. My daughter is willing to go in for a 3-month challenge with me: two pounds to lose for her, sixteen for me. My reward is a wellness weekend with her and her reward is a new, super-expensive bikini. (I thought I might go for the bikini, too, but I felt her go pale, even over the phone.)

Today, there is nothing in the closet that doesn’t fit, nothing that I don’t like. I can even fit my hand between clothes! There is real space between the hangers.

And my dinner last evening was a carrot and a protein drink. Nummy…

     


P.S. I am so excited! I called at a kind of Goodwill and they picked up tons of stuff I wanted to get rid of. Yippee! Lots of shoes, purses, clothes and things I don't use anymore but are still good.
And I went to spinning to burn off a few "cluttering" calories.