The Request Game - Getting Past the NO

One of the reasons we don’t get on in life is our fear of rejection. That is why more men don’t approach women, salespeople don’t make more cold calls, why students are afraid to raise their hands in class, etc.

Ask anybody: “If you would be sure to get a yes, would you ask for …….”, would their answer be yes? But the uncertainty of not really knowing what the answer will be keeps us completely paralyzed.

Rejections send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem. We often respond to romantic rejections by finding fault in ourselves, bemoaning all our inadequacies, kicking ourselves when we’re already down, and smacking our self-esteem into a pulp. Most romantic rejections are a matter of poor fit and a lack of chemistry, incompatible lifestyles, wanting different things at different times, or other such issues of mutual dynamics. Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally. But before you rush to blame yourself, try Rejection Therapy - The Rejection Challenge!  Learn how, by requesting something (even quirky) and expecting the "no" answer, you can ease the pain you'd otherwise experience. 

To deal with this challenge, one man even concocted cards for people who are really caught in this trap. It is based on Rejection Therapy and is called, duh, Rejection Therapy™! The game consists of suggestion cards designed for anyone who wants to build confidence and overcome fear of rejection.

Rejection Therapy is a process. You start with a rejection that’s a little out of your comfort zone. If you can’t say hello to three strangers in a grocery store, you should conquer that one first.

Emotions like fear and anger are viral and indiscriminate. They undermine your sense of control and self worth. If you allow these mental states to exist, they tend to spill over into other aspects of your life.

When you go through the process and play Rejection Therapy card by card, picking off rejections one by one, starting small and moving up, you uncover trouble spots and learn to overcome them. Call it fear management. You discover ways to manage your fear so you can get that rejection. And you have fun doing it.

Once you get the rejection, the fear shrinks and confidence in yourself grows in all aspects of your life. What if Peter Dinklage hadn’t gone for auditions? He is a small person but that didn’t stop him. We see him as successful. But we don’t know about all the no’s he’s heard. He obviously didn’t leave it at that.

 I am reading a fun book by Jia Jiang, who perscribed himself a 100 day rejection challenge. He was aiming to make 100 crazy requests (at least one every day) to get rejected. The goal was to desensitize himself from the pain of rejection. It is a hoot to read. I have also read the book „Women Don’t Ask“ by Linda Babcock which is more about why women don’t negotiate.

Now it’s your turn. Take the Rejection Therapy 30 Day Challenge today! Try to ask for something every day. Expect a „no“ yet be prepared for a „yes“. Could happen.