The Neverending Story of Downsizing

Years ago, I began writing about my downsizing efforts and it took quite a while, as well as one major move.

This morning, I scanned and boxed books I don't need anymore. These books are being bought for a  pittance by a company called momox here in Germany.  I typed in the ISBN number online and the amount they offered me popped up (or didn’t). If they made an offer, it was around 15 cents for the book. Some travel guides got over a euro, which surprised me.

I still have pangs when selling my books, although I read them last years ago.  After repeating my mantra “I am more than my books”, it was easier to part with them and appreciate them for informing and entertaining me during a past phase of my life.  Mama put up more of a fight because she actually felt that she was throwing her life away, in the form of her books.

So it’s great that I am not really decluttering anymore, my flat is just on an occasional diet!  By accessing my life at the moment and ridding my apartment of the things I don’t need or want anymore, it is not overwhelming.  There is no way I’m going to schlep all these books and things I don’t use when I move again!

What it comes down to is self-honesty.  Yeah, so I didn’t actually read this or use that.  As Mama always said, “Get down off the cross, we need the wood”!  I’m losing the Teflon pans and unhealthy foods.  I'm using my acrylic paints even though I'd like to stock up on oils.  My CD’s are still staring accusingly at me.  Maybe my students want some of them? (Somehow the mothers are never so enthusiastic as their kids when I do a CD, book or stuff dump on their kids…)

My NEVERENDING STORY  plods on…

Less Stuff, Less Space, More Life

While watching a documentary about the happy Danish people, I observed their tendency to have small homes, very open and light and very few things to clutter the pristine environment.

There are three important “rules” for reaching this lightness at home:

1) keep things that you love and/or really need and get rid of the stuff that’s lying around, blocking the view.

2) decide where you want to keep everything.  EVERYTHING has a designated home.

3) ALWAYS, ALWAYS put the things back where they belong.

Tiny Houses are very trendy but also the tendency to live in huge homes.  I have a rather large apartment but appreciate my efforts to keep it simple, uncluttered and free.  It wasn’t always like that but my goal has been to un-complicate my living environment.  It turns out that this striving is not a goal but a mindset.

If you are not really committed to living a light and airy life in an uncluttered home, nothing really works in the long run.  You don’t have to do this.  It’s your choice.

Even now, I have twangs of nostalgia and, well, fear when thinning out my work materials.  Since I am older, I don’t need all the papers I once needed for seminars.  Actually, to go with the paperless idea, I shouldn’t be drowning in paper anyway.  Besides, it’s rare a seminar participant reads the stuff I've painstakingly prepared!

I feel pangs of Angst because tossing my unused work materials equals not having anything motivating to do. It's not necessarily the truth but some sort of crazy story I've made up in my mind.   I’m not a great one for retirement.  There is a reason for living and, for me, it’s not cruising social media or watching TV.  Being realistic, however, means getting rid of things that I won’t use again and building up a new and fascinating future.

It all begins with a vision.

Before decluttering, it is important to know where you are headed.  Ideally, how would you love to live?  How would your space look?  What would you feel while being in it?  What is your ideal lifestyle?  Close your eyes and imagine.  Write down everything your vision embodies or even prepare a collage or drawing.

Then, look at what you’ve got now.  How close are you to living your ideal lifestyle?

Take pictures of your living space.  Then, take one room at a time and look at everything.  Clarify what needs to be done.  What objects do you love, use often and enjoy.  What is just ballast?  Chuck the things that block your way toward your ideal lifestyle.

It’s not (just) about neatness now.  All the cheap plastic containers holding stuff you never use or even look are like a Damocles sword hanging over your head.  Eventually, you’ve got these containers in every nook and cranny of your living quarters, garage, attic, shed.  Some even have stuff in storage.

After the visionary step, you need to begin discarding.  Sort out what goes and what you love/use and will receive a designated home later.  Focus all your attention on this, room for room or by categories like clothes, books, photos, papers, hobby materials, recreational items, etc.  You might leave sentimental items for the last great committing feat.

Don’t feel like a failure if you don’t manage on the first try.  Recover, recall your vision of an ideal life, and jump in again!

 I'm rooting for you.

Hyperconsumerism

Hyperconsumerism, hyper-consumerism, hyperconsumption or hyper-consumption refer to the consumption of goods for non-functional purposes^[1] and the associated significant pressure to consume those goods exerted by the modern, capitalist society, as those goods shape one's identity.^[2][3] Frenchy Lunning defines it curtly as "a consumerism for the sake of consuming."^[4]

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

One of the characteristics of hyperconsumerism is the constant pursuit of novelty, encouraging consumers to buy new and discard the old, like with clothes and trendy articles.  Most often, the items haven’t been used all that much so they are “stored”, who knows why.  Perhaps because “we paid good money for that and it’s hardly been used”.

Often things are bought simply as status symbols, to “keep up with the Joneses”.  But mostly we buy because it makes us feel good.  Unfortunately, hedonistic adaptation soon sets in and the pleasure we felt at the beginning wears off. So we’re off to buy something new.

But even if it’s not new, lots of us are buying-bound.  Think about the stuff sold at thrift stores and flea markets.  What about the excitement during auctions at storage facilities? People buy the junk inside the units unseen.

And don’t get me started about clothes addiction.

„The marketing strategy of the fast-fashion industry is to encourage the shortest of short-term decision making by encouraging impulse buying in two ways. First, items are priced high enough to maximize profit margins but low enough so people do not hesitate to make purchases because of price; second, merchants introduce and remove stuff so fast that customers worry that the item they are thinking of buying won’t be available the next day. As fashion seasons give way to incessant “innovation,” conspicuous consumption becomes constant consumption.“ Mark C. Taylor, Excerpted from "Speed Limits: Where Time Went and Why We Have So Little Left"

In an article entitled “Britain’s Bulging Closet: Growth of ‘Fast Fashion’ -  Women Are Buying HALF Their Body Weight in Clothes Each Year,” Paul Sims reports that the average woman in England has twenty-two garments hanging in her closet that she has never worn and will spend on average $201,000 on clothing during her lifetime.

Every time I see this film, I want to run and clear out some stuff:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AhSNsBs2Y0

Or this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxJVbzdf5gI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Pb-hjqdjbY

If we would buy 90% less of the stuff that clutters our garages and rooms, we would belong to the wealthy. As it is, we store our lost wealth on shelves and floors, and in closets and storage facilities.

Yet there is a spark of hope on the horizon.

A recent study by Young and Rubicam, which tracks 750,000 consumers in 50 countries every year for 17 years, identified the biggest shift in consumer attitudes that they have ever seen – one they believe is here to stay. In the US, they see Americans "returning to bedrock American virtues – thrift, faith, creativity, hard work, community and more – in order to build new lives of purpose and connection". Consumers are beginning to reject "cheap and more" as they search for a better balance in their lives.

Set yourself free.  It’s just STUFF.

Don't Pimp Your Stuff!

The Diderot Effect

“The pressure to upgrade our stock of stuff is relentlessly unidirectional, always ascending.” -sociology professor Juliet Schor

The things we own comprise a significant part of who we are.  Our identities are tied up in our clothes, gadgets, living quarters, furniture, etc.  We try to find a unity in our possessions. The Diderot Effect states that obtaining a new possession often creates a spiral of consumption which leads you to acquire more new things. As a result, we end up buying things that our previous selves never needed to feel happy or fulfilled.

This phenomenon is called after the French philosopher Denis Diderot, who, after living his life in poverty, comes into a large sum of money, then bought himself a scarlet dressing gown.  Soon he noticed that his living quarters, his other clothes and more seemed so shabby compared to the dressing gown.  He then began using up his money to my more things consistent with the scarlet cape, eventually putting himself in debt.

All products purchased by a consumer aim to be cohesive with that consumer’s identity.

The introduction of a new, atypical product can trigger a process of spiraling consumerism.  Take, for instance, buying a new suit.  Goodness, those old shoes won’t work with it, and neither will the old belt.  Yeah, gotta lose the shirt and tie, too.  So you go out and buy accessories to match the cool new suit. And that's just the beginning.

Our natural inclination is always to accumulate, to add, to upgrade, and to build upon. We are rarely looking to downgrade, to simplify, to eliminate, to reduce.

When we obtain a new item when tend to acquire additional ones.  Being aware of this problem can help you avoid it. 

1) Don’t splurge on a really deluxe version of anything, clothes, houses, furniture, or technique, that doesn’t fit in well with your existing belongings.

2) Don’t allow your children to pressure you to buy things you can’t comfortably afford.

3) Let go of desiring things. There will never be a level where you will be done craving things. There is always something to upgrade or update.

4) If you do buy things, get rid of the old.  Otherwise, you are stuck with a hoarder’s lair!

I read a scary story of a man who died in his apartment during a fire because the firefighters couldn’t get through his stuff to reach him and rescue him.

Define Your Ideal Life

Now that you’ve pared your stuff down appreciably, or perhaps you are still in the midst of the journey, you might want to set your sights on your Ideal Life.

The first step in the process is to write out a script, a kind of screenplay of your ideal life to come. Perhaps a page or two.

Here’s how you go about it: Envision your life five to ten years from now. Write down what you would like your ideal life to look like, as if you would be already there.

I invite you to focus on:

· Work - What do you do for a living? How intense is your passion for your choice?  Where does your work take you? Do you travel in your job? What kind of advantages does this calling offer?

· Money - How much money are you earning every year? How much money do you have in the bank? What type of investments do you have your money invested in? How much money is your money earning for your ideal life?

· Health - Are you healthy and in the future? What is your evidence, that is, what do you see when you look in the mirror and how do you feel?  How high is your energy level?  How much do you weigh? How often and intensely do you exercise? What exercises do you enjoy doing? What does your body look like? Are you muscular? Are you lean? Are you both?

· Family - Do you have a family? How many in your family? How is your ideal future family doing in life? What things does your family enjoy doing and experiencing together?

· Home -  What do your living quarters look like? Describe each room. Describe your surroundings. What country or state are you living in?

· Relationships - Do you have a lot of friends? How many? Describe your friends. What are they like? What do they do for a living? What do you do to make your relationships deeper and even more rewarding?

· Things - What fun objects do you own? How often do you take time to enjoy these things?  Do all of your things have a home?  Do you own a vacation dwelling? Where is it located? Is it on a beach? Is it on a lake? Is it in a big city? What kind of car do you drive? Or do you prefer other means of transportation?

· Enjoyment: What do you do for fun? What are your favorite activities in the future? Do you go on vacation? Where do you go on your vacations? What are some of your favorite vacation experiences? What are your hobbies? How creative are you? What new experiences do you engage in? What learning experiences do you enjoy?

The key is to describe as vividly as you can. You want to identify every aspect of your ideal, future life with all details that seem important to you.

Your mind has difficulty with vague things. Fine points help your subconscious get its neural head around your perfect life. These details tune your mind into the things you want in your life. They stimulate your mind to get to work and find a way.

So get started and begin creating your Ideal Life.  The first seed is being sown when you begin to develop a concrete vision of what you want with vivid details.

Go on.  Have fun with it.

High-Quality Habits are an investment in Your Best Life!

According to the latest research on creating happiness, having a feeling of control over your life is one of the most significant drivers in creating happiness.  High-Quality Habits will not only put you on the path to success, they will also put you on the healthy path to happiness.

Here are the top habits to help improve the quality of your life across 4 spectrums:
-Happiness Habits 
-Health Habits 
-Income Habits 
-Leisure Habits 

Happiness Habits
• Spend a time every single day being conscious of what you have to be grateful for.  You can write this in your journal or just speak them out loud when you wake up and before you fall asleep.
• Appreciate other people.  You can mention positive behaviors that others do, send an appreciative note of thanks, even just thinking something nice about the person in front of you lifts your mood.  Serve everything with a large portion of SMILE.
• Meditate daily.  One recent study, published in JAMA’s Internal Medicine states just that mindfulness meditation will ease the psychological stresses associated with depression, anxiety, and pain.  All you need to do is sit quietly and stay in the moment.  If you have thoughts, and who doesn’t, just let them float by without dwelling on them.  Using your senses, you are aware of the sights, smells, body sensations, etc. right in the moment. Even one minute of stillness helps.
• Learn.  Learn every single day and spend 10 to 30 minutes doing this. You don’t have to commit to huge blocks of time as long as you do a little bit every single day. Use books, audio-books, recordings, webinars, informative YouTube videos, etc.  If you stick to a single theme, you can become an expert on it and, if you wish, use it to augment your income. Whether it's books about presenting, negotiating, making war, influencing, statistics, language, history, or anything else, there's something there to learn about how to work differently and make connections other people don't see.

Health Habits
• Walk more.  Studies have suggested that waking 10,000 steps per day not only helps with weight loss, but that it also helps to decrease your risk of heart disease and diabetes.  I have found a fitness tracker keeps me informed about how many steps I’ve taken each day.  Sometimes, if I can’t get out for a walk, I just enjoy walking to a YouTube video.  The people in the video are happily enjoying walking, the music is energizing and the leader motivating.  My fitness tracker even counts those steps, even though I’m „only“ walking in place most of the time! Use the stairs, park a bit farther away and walk more steps to your destination.
• Drink water. The Institute of Medicine determined that men should drink 3 liters (13 cups) daily and women should be getting 2.2 liter (9 cups).  Using a drink reminder app helps you think about drinking and keeping a bottle of water wherever you are reminds you to empty it.
• Sleep enough. Many people are living with a sleep deficit.  That saps their energy, makes them less motivated and productive, and generally takes the zest out of life.  It can even contribute to overweight!  Multiple studies have suggested that not only does sleep help to improve things like memory, but it also helps to boost the longevity of life, increase awareness, and spur creativity.
• Avoid Junk Food like the plague.  It will make you unhealthy. Period.
• Exercise.  Yes, you knew it was coming but there is no getting around it.  Our bodies crave movement and responds excellently to strength training. Whether it’s light jogging, weights, yoga, a treadmill or some other lightly strenuous activity, merely getting started will help to build the habit. Do it in the morning to energize your day or after work to clear your head.
• Eat smart.  I’m not telling you to be a vegetarian or to go vegan.  Avoid processed foods and anything with a list of ingredients you need a PhD to read.  Watch for hidden sugars and don’t use sweeteners.  Cook your own meals so you know what’s in your food, and use fresh produce.
• Take pit stops during the day.  Focus intensely for a time period and then take a healthy break.  Walk away from your work area, take some deep breaths at the window or walk quickly around the building.  You can do stretches or get in 5 minutes of muscle training using a resistance band.  Don’t skip breaks. Rethink the habit of using breaks to smoke.
• Recognize the importance of downtime.  Decompressing, and reflecting on all that you have already accomplished, finding time for solitude, being aware of and engaging with the loves in your life.  Keeping a work-life balance can be difficult, but having a healthy mind and body makes it much easier.

Income Habits
• Time Management.  Managing your time demands daily attention and a pursuit of the important over the urgent. This means defining your tasks so that you pursue the all-important goals and not simply reacting to the urgent matters that come up in your day.  You need to keep the highest priorities in your sights. Start your day by setting clear priorities for yourself and then make a conscientious effort to minimize distractions.  Don’t spend your time putting out unnecessary fires if you’re not a fireman!
• Begin the day with a specific purpose.  Being busy all day doesn't necessarily equate to getting things done. It's easy to get caught up in the fire drills, meetings, and typical busy work that rule our professional lives, but the drawback is that at the end of the day, rather than feeling accomplished, we end up just feeling exhausted--and maybe a little frustrated that our to-do list went unchecked--again. One of Stephen Covey's seven habits is to 'begin with the end in mind.'  Remain focused despite daily obstacles."
• Plan tomorrow the night before.  Take the time at the end of the day to assimilate everything that happened that day, wrap up loose ends and have a clear game plan for the next day. Designate your three MOST IMPORTANT THINGs. This helps you sleep better and wake up ready to tackle the day motivated.
• Use psychological strength in order to succeed at your profession.  This includes being tenacious, having a clear vision, identifying a niche and going all-in on an opportunity, creating a warm, family-like work atmosphere, eliminating negative self-talk, and always seeking that next challenge.
• Goal Setting. Develop a system for setting goals and ensure that you engage in goal setting every single day. Pursue the goals that are important to you and your work, and ensure that you build checklists to help you accomplish what you want over time. Don’t let yourself get derailed by getting distracted with no-priorities like Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, WhatsApp, etc. Keep your eye on the prize.
• Save a percentage of your earnings. At least 20% of your income should be saved, in order to build up your money for an emergency fund and investment opportunities.  Your savings should be automated. Setup a savings account to automatically deduct the funds from your personal account every single time you get paid. Ensure that the money goes out before you can even get used to seeing it in your checking account.
The Hedonic Treadmill
In 1971, the behavioral psychologists Donald T. Campbell and Phillip Brickman coined the term, “Hedonic Treadmill,” also known as “Hedonic Adaptation.” The term makes reference to the natural tendencies for humans to revert back to a set point of happiness after major changes – either positive or negative – to their lives.  When you get a raise, you’ll start spending more and, soon, you are used to that way of life and want more.  You will always want more, no matter what you have.  That’s why it is important to have a percentage of income go straight to a savings account so you don’t even know it’s there.  You won’t miss it, but later, you’ll have it!
• Track where your money is going. Small leaks sink big ships. $5 per-day latte habits equate to $1825 spent alone on coffee a year. $20 lunches out every single day equates to $7300 a year. Track and audit all of your expenses.
• Pay off credit card debt in full each month.  If you can’t do that, you shouldn’t even be using one.  Only have ONE credit card.
• Educate yourself constantly. Spend at least 30 minutes each day with education in your career or towards investments. Whether you read it online or in print, subscribe to something that can help to advance your career. If you want to educate yourself in investments, terrific. Visit seminars.  Find a mentor.  Increase your competence and build useful skills.  Spend each day learning just a little bit, and over time, you’ll see tremendous results.

Leisure Habits 

What are you doing when you’re not working?  Do you sit in front of the TV, snack in hand/mouth.  Or do you engage in some or all of the following habits?

• Keep a clean and neat living environment. “Clean house, clean mind.” Spend a few minutes of your leisure time organizing your surroundings. Take 5 minutes to clean up your desk, de-clutter, or simply to throw things away. You’ll be surprised at how much your quality of life will increase when you get organized.  The rule „A place for everything, and everything in it’s place“ will serve you well.  Then you won’t have to invest your precious time in marathon cleaning sessions.
• Boost the quality of your life by socializing and networking. It’s been said that 79% of rich people spend 5 hours or more networking, whereas the poor spend 16% of their time doing so. But, networking doesn’t have to be just solely for business. Simply take an interest in other peoples’ lives.  Being with friends and family increases your emotional well-being.
• Fight procrastination. Do one thing that you’ve been putting off every single day. This is a tremendous way to overcome procrastination and build the habit of moving your life forward. Create a list of all the things that you’ve been putting off. Then, commit to spending just 5-15 minutes each day doing one of those things. Even if you can’t complete it, make sure that you spend daily time working on it.  When I used to have a TV, I’d jump up during commercials and do 5 minutes toward an ugh-task.  It always surprised me how much I got done, once I got started.  Magically, my motivation increased.
• Get better by 1% every day. The key to building a better business or becoming Your Best Self rests in making small, continuous improvements every single day. Instead of incorporating drastic changes in a short amount of time, focus on making something 1 percent better than the day before. It doesn't sound like much, but those small improvements will start compounding, and that will gradually lead to the change you want.

So there you are.  Some people have their morning and/or evening rituals which encompass several of the above mentioned habits.  If a habit is new to you, you might need to use reminders and notifications so you don’t forget them.  Once they are established, which can take quite some time, you will do them automatically.

STUFF – Your personal ball-and-chain

Last Saturday was my yearly basement purge and it was so much easier than last year.  What was different were the thoughts and feelings that popped up.  Instead of the clinging “I’ll use that soon” (or worse “OH THAT’S WHERE THAT IS!”), I heard myself saying “Yep, that chapter of my life is really finished. Move on and get that stuff OUT!”.  So the boxes of music that were used a lot when I taught more kids and also led student courses on instrumental teaching are reserved for the local music school and the document-maker for my daughter’s new company.

It doesn’t hurt.

I have sold about a thousand books, which seem to relieve a bit of the guilty thought ‘But I paid good money for that!”.  Now, I see some books in the shelves that I’ve read but don’t use anymore and give them to teachers and/or friends – but only if they want them.

Last week, I visited a friend who had long ago asked me to give her any books about teaching that I don’t want.  So, when I visited her last time,  I filled up a basket full of them but she stared at them in dismay when she looked into the basket!  Turns out, she was in the midst of clearing out her recently deceased mother’s apartment and was up to her ears in STUFF.  More books just added to the stress.

Sometimes, we tell ourselves big stories about what we are going to do with our STUFF, or why we need it, or that ‘everybody else has one.’  I really try to put my stories to the test: IF I DON’T USE IT WITHIN THE NEXT 3-6 MONTHS, IT’S OUT OF HERE. 

Perhaps because I am older, I can see more of my self-lies and phony stories.  At this point, I know I’m not going to have more time or energy than I have now.  That helps me not to give in to the tantalizing song of the consumer sirens.  I just ask myself if I 1) will really use it, 2) have a place for it or 3) could share it with someone.  In my art class, for instance, I give people a dab of a certain color and they lend me the palette knife for a few swipes. 

On the other hand, I want to use my cookbooks more.  I generally make myself the same dishes because it’s expedient.  But, since my motto is “Downsize your stuff – Upsize your life!”,  I want to try new things and expand my experience.  I try not to get stuck in a same ol’-same ol’ rut.  But, to be honest,  if I decide I want to try baking cornbread with coconut flour, I check out the recipes online.  Ahhh,  looks like my cookbooks are in for a purge after all.

So, if you have some things that you walk by all of the time but never use, consider freeing up that space with a mini-purge and just leave that area open and free.  Go for the Zen.

Remember Rule Number 1: Don’t even consider renting a storage unit!

Your home is your sanctuary.  Don’t let it become your stressor.