Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!

Simplicity!

Thoreau admonished his contemporaries in the nineteenth century to reduce the complexity in their daily lives: "Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand."

Time is a limited resource and there are increasing demands on this resource.  Psychologist Tim Kasser shows in his research that time affluence is a consistent predictor of well-being, where material affluence is not. Time affluence is the feeling that one has sufficient time to pursue activities that are personally meaningful, to reflect, to engage in leisure.

Time poverty is the feeling that one is constantly stressed, rushed, overworked, behind.

To raise our levels of well-being, there is no way around simplifying our lives.

Think of at least three ways that you could simplify your life and take the first tiny step. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I wish you the best for 2015!

Happy New Year!!

2015 - Your Best Year Ever

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It’s a new year soon. This is the time of year for reflection. We all sit back and reflect on the year that has past and look to the bright New Year ahead. We think about what we want the brand new year to be like. We think about our hopes and dreams for both us and our friends and family.

It can be the most amazing sweetest, most wonderful year and you can meet and exceed all of your dreams and expectations.

Do you want this next year to the best ever? Of course you do. The question is how? It really is not a secret if you pay attention to what successful people do and what unsuccessful people don’t do. Here are six tips on how to have the best year ever.

#1 Have goals- oh I know, you always meant to have them- and write them down, but you never seemed to make the time. You are too busy. Get a pen and paper, chisel and a rock or ink and bark but write them down! Research has shown a very small percentage of the population writes down their goals. How can you hit a target if you don’t know what it is? How do you even know you hit it? People will spend nine months planning a vacation to Disney for one week but no time planning their life. Make your life count by designing the life you want.

#2 Divide and conquer- once you have your goals in place- then it is action time. Write down (in some type of time management system) what you need to do quarterly, monthly weekly and then daily. A good practice is to write down what you need to get done at the beginning of each week and then use this as your track to run on for the entire week.

#3 Activate your RAS- There is part of your brain called the reticular activating system (RAS) which is engaged when you write something down and can see it. It allows your brain to work on it even when you aren’t. This is why writing your goals down really works- it’s actually science after all- not some new age mystery.  Get your RAS working full time for you. You may also want to activate your RAS even more by creating a vision board. A vision board is simply a poster that you create electronically or physically with pictures of all the things you want (a house, car, vacation, fit body, a jet, a spouse) and look at it every day.

#4 Eliminate the negative- if you have negative people in your life then get rid of them immediately! These negative energy sucking vampires will discourage you and drag you down with them into the abyss. Surround yourself with only loving supportive encouraging people who believe in you. People who will encourage not discourage, build you up not tear you down, say you can and not say that you can’t.

#5 Evaluate to motivate- what have you learned the last year? What do you need to do differently? What do you need to start doing more? What new skills or information do you need to learn and how will you learn it? Socrates said “ the unexamined life is not worth living". The opposite of that is “the examined life is worth living- every precious minute of it". I’m sure Socrates would be proud.

#6 Make up your mind- just make a commitment to make it the best year ever. We are the architects of our own lives- the question is this year what do you want to build? The choice is yours. As John Wayne once said “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” That says it all.

Plotting your goals for the new year

Those who commit to their goals in writing are more likely to follow through. So get ready for the new year by plotting out a plan of procedure.  Studies have shown that a "if, then" plan helps if you aren't able to realize your original plan on a certain day.

Planning period from ______ until ________

Starting date _________________

Sample goal: I will set up a get-fit plan. Starting in January, I will walk for at least 10 minutes 6 times a week.

If I can't manage to get outside to walk, then I'll look for every stairway I can find (instead of the elevator) during my day and do at least two to three flights of those.

If I am too tired to walk, I'll open a window and take 10 deep breaths once or twice per hour.

 Your goal:___________________________________________

If ______________________, then _______________________

If ______________________, then _______________________

Your goal: ___________________________________________

If _______________________, then ______________________

If _______________________, then ______________________

Your fun goal: ________________________________________

If _______________________, then _______________________

If_______________________, then ________________________

If you get a buddy to support you and also announce your plans, there will be an even bigger possibility that you'll reach your goals.

My own Eat, Pray, Love

December 18, 2014

I feel like I'm in the middle of "Eat,Pray,Love"!

This afternoon, I had an extensive consultation with the Ayervedic doctor here. Then I got an amazing warm oil massage from two therapists. Then a warm shower with a body scrub.

Lunch was vegetarian and tasty.

Just now, I took part in a candle meditation. I'm pretty laid back after the massage so it was nice.

After dinner, I want to go straight to bed so I can catch the early yoga and meditation classes. I have my own "villa" with garden, outdoor living room and bathroom. I hope the monkeys don't scamper around on the roof tonight. They can get into everything except the bedroom.

December 19

Because I want to take advantage of everything, I did Gentle Yoga at 7 this morning. I realized awkwardly how rusty and full of kinks I've gotten!

Breakfast was as scimpy as dinner last evening. I've been put on a special diet: no food! Actually, it just feels like that. I always get warm water infused with something. Last evening it tasted like water from a rusty pipe but turned out to be coriander. "No dessert and no wine" the waiter told me gleefully.

It is amazing how used to too much food I've gotten. Looking at the population of USA and Germany, I suspect I'm not the only one.

I also did an art "meditation" which was really a visualization followed by producing a picture of what popped into our heads. Since I visualized a waterfall flowing upwards with drops turning into fish, that is what I painted. The words " the unexpected" kept going through my mind.

This afternoon I had the most amazing treatment. I was slathered in oil and then very warm medicinal water was poured over me for an hour. Sounds gooky but it is pure heaven. Everything ends with a shower and body peel so I left feeling very relaxed. The doc gave me some herbal medicines to take after every meal.

I couldn't resist trying out the intermediate yoga class after that which was definitely a killer after about an hour. Asana after asana. Inhale. Exhale.

Another shower (the fourth today) and I was ready for a mantra meditation. The meditation sessions are kind of cool (although sweat was dripping down my back).

So now I'm sitting in the library waiting for dinner to be served. Can't wait to get my giant 1/4 portion. At least the doc says I won't be so hungry after about 4 days. I shouldn't complain. I just talked to a lady who is on a juice diet- a glass of juice every hour. Six days long.

I feel very priviledged to do all this. Of course it is very expensive but I am thankful to have enough work to pay for it.

I did some "knitting meditation" while relaxing in my outside living room. The back of Nadja's sweater is almost finished. There is a place for making tea including teas, fresh ginger and sterilized water. I enjoyed sitting with the doors open so I could enjoy a nice view of a lake and feel the breeze.

All good up 'til now.

12/20/2014

I am slowly getting used to being hungry about an hour before meals. Yesterday, I was hungry much earlier and actually was a bit shakey.

My two yoga sessions yesterday led to muscle soreness today. I had Dhanyamla dhara today: special medicated water (warm!) is poured on the body (3 therapists) for an hour. Good for liquefaction of adipose, subsides generalized and localized swelling, improves circulation and helps de-tox. Well there you go!

Wish I could liquify my adipose...😎😂😂😂

I finally sat by the pool today, reading The Remains of the Day again after loving it 20 years ago.

There was a big frog in my toilet last night. If your bathroom is outside in the tropics, you better check the loo before sitting down!

Last evening I had a crepe with veg. filling and a lovely coconut milk sauce. Turnips on the side. REALLY tasty. There is always soup beforehand.

Breakfast was müsli and coconut milk. Then two pieces of bread with peanut butter and pineapple jam.

They always give us warm water infused with herbs and spices with the meal.

I was in the kitchen this morning and was shown all the veggies and spices. They cut everything up so small. My "type" is pita/varga and the cooks make my meals accordingly.

I am feeling bad today. After meditation up on a hill overlooking the bay, I was fine for yoga. It's been downhill since then. I'll see the doc later.

Wish I had more energy, I'd do yoga 2 and focus meditation at 5. No use forcing things though.

My brother told me to forget the frogs and watch out for the cobras and mambas...😉

12.21.2014

 I need to check for the whole friggin' animal and insect kingdom before using the bathroom.  Only found one tiny frog and several weird insects last night. So yay.

There are snakes in the nature preserve here. I figure that the mongoose will eat a few. And these little houses are closed to the outside except for doors and windows. But whatever wants to climb or jump the walls gets in.😳

The diet is interesting but I don't understand it yet. I wasn't allowed the orange juice this morning but was given a lemon/ginger infusion. Müsli with coconut milk followed by two pieces of whole wheat bread, peanut butter and pineapple jam. All made here of course.

I could have chosen the vegetable stew instead. Not there yet.

Cooking class today at 11.30. I have to figure out a way to do this at home. The chef showed me all around and I learned a lot. 

He showed me the recipe for one of my favorite sauces up until now:

Veggie-filled crepes with coconut-curry sauce

Cut veggies (cabbage, carrot, bell pepper, green beans, etc. into julienne strips. Saute with ginger and garlic (chopped up very fine). Add organic sea salt, tumeric, chili powder.

Sauce:

Mustard seeds & curry leaves (optional) 

Garlic, ginger, onion (finely chopped)

Chili powder 1/2 tsp.

Tumeric powder 1/2 tsp.

Cashew paste (blend cashews and a bit of water)

Coconut milk (blend coconut and water) or canned

Salt/ juice from 1/2 lemon 

1. dry roast seeds in a flat pan (medium heat about 1-2 min.) Shake the pan occasionally.

2. add ginger, garlic, salt (curry leaves) - then later the onion (pan is still dry) keep stirring (about 2 minutes)

3. add chili powder and tumeric (stir😊)

4. add cashew paste - stir until a clump forms

5. add coconut milk and stir until the sauce is slightly thickened (you might need to add more coconut milk)

6. at the end add the lemon juice and salt

Put the veggies onto the middle of a freshly made crepe, fold over so that the veggies are secure, heat in the same crepe pan on both sides. 

Place a pool of sauce on a warmed plate and lay the filled crepe on it. Dribble a bit of sauce over the top.

Enjoy!

12.22.2014

OMG! Another dream has come true! The dream of talking with someone who knows what I know. Instead of always explaining things to new aquaintances.

I am not so clever but I have been working on certain things for years. I've written books and have done massive reading as well as taking extensive training. But I only have one friend whom I can discuss these things with. We talk once or twice a year.

This morning, a lady here at the ayerveda resort asked me if I would like to sit with her for breakfast. What followed was a wonderful talk about what we do (she is a psychiatrist and psychotherapist). She suggested example "conversations" with students for my new book to get my point over better but I don't think that would work now. The book is due to come out in the new year.

What a boon to my spirits.

First downsizing my stuff, getting another flat and now making new aquaintances. Step by step toward upsizing my life.

December 26

Christmas in a Hindu country

The hotel staff worked so hard to decorate the grounds. They even threw a fun party on Christmas Eve where I was allowed to eat as much as I desired of whatever I wanted. And what happened after this past week of tiny portions? I was full almost immediately! But I have lost about 5 pounds.

Christmas Day is a holiday in this area so when I took the boat to a small village, there were masses of people bathing in the sea and visiting the temples. In the midst of so many people, lots of cars and buses on the narrow streets and all honking at once, I felt the heat all the more. Exhausting! I bought a bronze statue of the dance goddess and a wooden statue of Shiva and his wife for my slimmed-down apartment. They should be fun to drag home.

I get a kick out of watching the monkeys moving rather gracefully through the trees looking for edibles. They keep to themselves and seem quite content. It is still an adventure at night using the toilet. On the way there and most probably on or in the toilet, I'm bound to find a creature or two. (My theme song is going to be "And you'll never walk alone".) Last night, I was preparing to brush my teeth when a frog jumped onto the sink and stared at me. When he wouldn't move despite my efforts to shoo him away, I just went on and brushed!

Meditation is fascinating. Yoga is doing me tons of good. And this morning at 6:30 we irrigated our noses with salt water. The practice does me a lot of good but I wouldn't want to have a video of it appear in YouTube!

I enjoy sitting at the pool after breakfast and enjoying the perfect weather. Haven't made it into the pool yet though.

After reading that Düsseldorf weather is its usual winter-crumby, I am doubly happy to stay here another 6 days.

7 Rituals for being more creative

1.  Engage deeply in meaningful pursuits.

Marcus Aurelius once said, “Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?”

Creativity as both a lifestyle and a profession is a daring adventure, and a trulyrewarding one.  To thoroughly love what you do while also being fulfilled financially and emotionally is an aspiration and a challenge. Which is why you must remind yourself on a daily basis of what’s actually meaningful to you, and fully commit to the actions that yield progress in that area of your life.

2.  Set up triggers that get you into the rhythm for a routine of creating.

Maya Angelou only wrote in small hotel rooms.  Jack Kerouac made sure to touch the ground nine times before sitting down to write.  And many of the artistic clients we’ve worked with over the years have done everything from meditating, to singing, to running, to even doing two-hour long workouts immediately prior to working on their creative projects.  For example, take a look at our client Fay’s morning routine.  Here’s what she recently told us:

“I begin every day with one simple ritual: I wake up at 6 a.m., put on workout clothes, walk outside my downtown San Francisco home, hail a taxi, and tell the driver to take me to my gym.  I workout for an hour and forty-five minutes, and then I take a leisurely fifteen-minute jog back home.  The important part of the ritual is not the training I do at the gym; what’s important is getting in that cab every morning and getting the day started in the right direction.  The rest just falls into place.  I get home feeling good and ready to work.”

Think about your days.  How are they structured?  What triggers your creative (and productive) mind?  Are you consciously structuring your days with this trigger in mind?

Whether it’s waking up early, working in a specific location, or hitting the weights first thing in the morning, you need to find a trigger that gets you into rhythm – your rhythm.  When you design a healthy daily routine that starts automatically every morning, you save lots of mental energy for the creative thinking that comes naturally when you find yourself in your rhythm.  Through this personalized routine you will bring out your most intuitive work.

Of course, your routine will change occasionally due to evolving circumstances.  The idea is that you make the necessary adjustments and maintain a routine that works – one that maintains the necessary triggers and rituals to develop and nurture your creative mind, and to ultimately do the work necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be. 

3.  Spend daily downtime daydreaming.

Creative types know that, despite what their grade school teachers likely told them, daydreaming is anything but a waste of their time.  While structured routines are important for the actual process of creating, our minds need downtime filled with the freedom to wander.

Neuroscientists have found that daydreaming involves the same brain processes associated with imagination and creative thinking.  According to psychologist Rebecca L. McMillan, who recently co-authored a research paper titled Ode To Positive Constructive Daydreaming, daydreaming can aid in the “creative incubation” of ideas and solutions to complex problems.

Perhaps that’s why we sometimes get our best ideas while taking a long, hot shower.

4.  Schedule in new experiences.

When they’re not daydreaming in their downtime, creative types love to expose themselves to new experiences, sensations and states of mind.  This willingness to stretch themselves is a significant predictor of their creative output.  Because creative growth always begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Of course, a big part of this happens inside a routine when you’re “in rhythm” and working hard to stretch your creative and intellectual muscles.  But new experiences help balance out your routines.  They force you to think differently.  So make an effort to try something new at least once a week.  It can be a whole new activity or just a small experience, such as talking to a stranger.  Once you get the ball rolling, many of these new experiences will open doors to life-changing perspectives you can’t even fathom right now.

And with a strategy of continuous small, scheduled steps into new experiences, you are able to sidestep the biggest barrier to thinking outside the box: Fear.

5.  Observe your mentors and study the work of other masters.

If you study the lives of enough successful creators, it becomes obvious that most world-class performers in all fields – musicians, entrepreneurs, artists, dancers, etc. – had incredible mentors, coaches or role models who made the activity of practice worthwhile and rewarding.

If you can speak with a mentor face to face, that’s incredible – do so!  But keep in mind that just observing a mentor works wonders too.  When we observe someone we want to learn from, and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation.  Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness.  “Look, they did it.  I can do it too!”  It may sound overly simplistic, but spending time studying people who are great can be one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.

In his book Mastery , Robert Greene emphasizes the importance of studying the work of others using Mozart as an example.  This is an essential building block for mastering your craft and cultivating your creativity at the same time:

“Throughout his career, Mozart never asserted any particular opinions about music.  Instead, he absorbed the styles he heard around himself and incorporated them into his own voice.  Late in his career, he encountered for the first time the music of Johann Sebastian Bach – a kind of music very different from his own, and in some ways more complex.  Most artists would grow defensive and dismissive of something that challenged their own principles.  Instead, Mozart opened his mind up to new possibilities, studying Bach’s use of counterpoint for nearly a year and absorbing it into his own vocabulary.  This gave his music a new and surprising creative quality.”

The bottom line is that studying mentors and other masters can help you diversify your own creative output.  Doing so facilitates the process of cross-pollinating ideas and strategies, introducing you to new approaches and ways of thinking. 

6.  Lean heavily on your intuition.

Intuition is very real and something that is never wise to ignore, because it comes from deep within your subconscious and is derived from a combination of your previous life experiences and core perceptions about the present.  If everyone else is telling you “yes” but your gut is telling you otherwise, it’s usually for a good reason.  When faced with difficult decisions, seek out all the information you can find, become as knowledgeable as you possibly can, and then listen to your instincts.

Creative people know that trusting your intuition is equivalent to trusting your true self; and the more you trust your true self, the more control you have of making your biggest goals and wildest dreams come true, just the way you envision.

7.  Gradually turn life’s obstacles around.

Many of the most iconic novels, songs, and inventions of all time were inspired by gut-wrenching pain and heartbreak.  Therefore, the silver lining of these great challenges is that they were the catalyst to the creation of epic masterpieces.

An emerging field of psychology called Post-Traumatic Growth has suggested that most people are able to use their hardships and traumas for substantial creative and intellectual development.  Specifically, researchers have found that trauma can help people grow their long-term contentment, emotional strength, and resourcefulness.  

Off to India!

Batten down the hatches - I'm off!

The crowning glory was last evening. I had bought a sideboard through ebay which looked like it would work well in the living room. I even got someone to go pick it up in Marl. They got stuck in traffic jams (Hey, it's Germany!) and got here much later than planned plus it was raining and dark outside. 

When they checked out the situation, they realized they'd never be able to get the sideboard up to my flat, let alone into and through my apartment. After much deliberation, they discovered that the sideboard was actually three different compartments with a lid and "foot" part. Without delay, they set about to dissect my poor sideboard. So now, of course, the white sideboard is full of fingerprints, broken corners and the foot platform is not stuck anymore.

The transport cost 250€ (!!) and the sideboard 200€. Am I getting dumber with age?!! It is just a repainted cabinet. Facit: If you buy something through ebay, don't pay much for it. If it turns out to be great, you've been lucky. If not, you can get rid of it and keep your losses minimal.

The flat is looking really good. It is actually almost "finished". When I get back, there are only about 8 or 9 boxes to unpack and organize. I bought a cute robot vacum sweeper and it is a riot watching it busy itself with my floors. I have to keep an eye/ear on it, though, because the paintings I've propped against the wall keep trying to kill it! I came just in time as a frame had fallen over on iRobot and it was making queer strangling noises.

My former landlady has not responded to any of my emails about the security deposit. That is over 1000€. I guess she is playing for time,  knowing that I am away for several weeks.

My visa came in time so it looks like I can fly on Sunday. Today, I'll take the train to Frankfurt airport and stay in the Hilton there. Hopefully, I can start my trip rested and unstressed.

Well, partially unstressed. My best friend texted me that she has breast cancer. That knocked my last breath out of me.

Maybe I can get onto wifi in India. Watch this space.

7 Things Happy, Healthy People Do

Each morning truly is a brand new opportunity.  Each day is another chance to get it right.
The happiest, healthiest people embrace this truth and use it to their advantage.  They have effective morning rituals that gradually improve their well-being and give their lives purpose.  Here’s what they do differently:

1.  They wake up with a sense of gratitude.

In other words, they start the day with love in their hearts and minds, and are truly appreciative of their life and all of its priceless idiosyncrasies.  They practice small acts of gratitude in the morning by expressing thankfulness directly to the people they care about, and to the immediate circumstances (health, opportunities, etc.) they could so easily take for granted.
The more a person is inclined to gratitude, the less likely he or she is to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic.  Bottom line: Consider how very fortunate you are.  Consider it every morning.  The more you count your blessings, the more blessings there will be to count, and the happier you will be.

2.  They begin anew.

They know it’s a brand new day to start over and do something different.  Yesterday may have been a complete bummer for them, but today is a new day for learning, success and adventure.  Realize this.  Live now.  Not before.  Not later.  Just NOW – in the moment you’re in.
Inhabit your morning completely.  Don’t rent it out to the past.  Don’t let your history interfere with your destiny!  Let today be the day you stop being a victim of yesterday’s circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want.  You have the power and the time to shape the rest of this day.  Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. 

3. They use self-inquiry to affirm a purposeful start to the day.

Steve Jobs’ morning routine used to start by looking in the mirror and asking, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”  And Benjamin Franklin asked himself each morning, “What good shall I do today?”  I challenge you to come up with questions that keep you on track and push you to live a purposeful life, for example:

• What would I like to remember about today?
• How will I sincerely honor my own desires and truth today?
• What can I do to make a positive difference in the lives around me today?

4. They read something positive.

Some happy people read a bit of scripture each morning, while others read inspiring books, articles or quotes to get their day started.  Either way, they have a ritual to read some form of self-improvement literature to stretch and grow their insight and knowledge.  It’s starts their day off on a positive note with positive, productive ideas to guide their day’s journey.
And that’s crucial, because in life you often have to create your own sunshine.  So read something positive every morning when you wake up, and let it inspire you to do something positive before you go back to sleep at night.  That’s how memorable days are made.

5.  They follow an effective morning routine.

Happy, healthy people know that morning routines are critically important.  They help you focus and build momentum for your day, and they give you the freedom to be present and relaxed – to enjoy just being right where you are each moment, rather than rushing from somewhere to somewhere.
Once you get your routine in order, for the first time in a long time, you will be able to, quite literally, smell the coffee.  For truly easy-going mornings, reduce the number of decisions you must make.  There are two simple ways to do this:
First, make your big morning decisions the night before: what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear, what you need to take to work, etc.
Second, build a simple routine for as much of your daily morning tasks as possible.
Really, there’s no need to drastically alter the simple things like how much time you give yourself to get ready for work, how complex of a meal you make for breakfast, or bathroom and shower rituals from one morning to the next.

6.  They give themselves enough time to eat a wholesome breakfast.

You can’t possibly have a happy, healthy day if you feed your body garbage first thing in the morning.  Period.  Your body is a temple.  You are what you eat.  So do not eat processed food, fast food, and all the filth the big processed food companies try to pass off as “healthy.”
Does it take ten extra minutes to prepare a wholesome breakfast?  Yes it does.  Is it worth it?  Yes it is!  Most foods that you don’t have to prepare manually statically cause sickness, cancer, and disease.  Do they taste good?  Sure.  It’s all well-seasoned, pre-packaged poison.  This is why so many people are sick – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually – because they are hooked to the taste of poison, instead of being hooked to real foods that heal and provide the human body with good health and wellness.  Don’t make this mistake.  Fuel your body properly first thing every morning. 

7.  They move on gracefully to what’s most important.

As human beings, we are goal oriented.  We like making progress.  When we accomplish one of our goals, we smile about it.  That’s why the happiest people I know are also some of the most successful people I know.
And success is not something you have; it's something you DO.  It’s something you experience when you wake up and act accordingly.  So let your first hour set the theme of proactivity and success that is certain to echo through your entire day.  The key is to focus your attention first thing in the morning on the right things.  Why?  Because at some point we all wonder, “Why is it so impossible to get everything done?”  But the answer is stunningly simple: We’re doing too many of the wrong things.
Several research studies have shown that people never get more done by blindly working more hours on everything that comes up.  Instead, they get more done when they follow careful plans that measure and track key priorities and milestones.  So if you want to be more successful, less stressed, and a lot happier at the end of a long day, don’t ask how to make something more efficient until you’ve first asked, “Do I need to do this at all?”  Simply being able to do something well does not make it the right thing to do.  I think this is one of the most common problems with a lot of time-management advice; too often productivity gurus focus on how to do things quickly, but the vast majority of things people do quickly should not be done at all.

So get out there and have a great day!!

Beating that Impulse

"Oh Lord, get thee behind me and push!" my Mom used to say. I have very little furniture really. I tossed and sold several things and now I am planning my next purchases.

NOOOOO!

I "need" a little table to hold my tea while I read. A fold-up table for the phone and router. A thin shelf for my WC. A shelf-system for my broom closet. ETC.!

I really need to resist the urge to buy. I probably could improvise some things that work. Or use what a have to an advantage. My basement is so wonderfully EMPTY! I can walk into it and even walk around in it.

It might be great to do IKEA out of a sale for a change. What, if instead of buying some cheaply made stuff that everyone else has, I would wait and look around for a beautiful piece of furniture that would be a pleasure to gaze upon. I have one large nook that is just waiting for a lovely piece made of massive, polished wood. Ummmm...

If I sit on my "couch landscape", I can place a small tray next to me which holds my teacup. Maybe I don't need to drink anything while sitting in the recliner. And the router is fine on the floor in the dark corner next to the piano.

But I might buy a light fixture for the hall. At the moment the lighting consists of a light bulb hanging out of the ceiling the way you'd probably only see in Germany.

Resist the Urge to Splurge

Ask yourself some questions. Will I use this every day or at least often? Will I use it enough for it to be worth buying? How many hours did I have to work to pay for this?

Employ the 3-month forecast. Ask yourself if you'll still be using the product regularly in 3 months. If you have lived this long without it, do you really need it?

If you move frequently, contemplate whether this purchase is really worth hauling around each time you move. If you don't, ask yourself if it's worth sacrificing some of your precious living space to own it. And care for it.

One way to avoid unnecessary spending is to tax yourself. Every time you make a purchase over $10 (or $50 or whatever limit you choose), take 10% of the price and put it into your savings or your investments. This way, you discourage yourself from buying something just because the item is "marked down" or "a bargain" and boost your financial security every time you make a significant purchase. If you use a debit card or a credit card, try using one that has a savings program, American Express offers a card with a savings account and Bank of America offers their "Keep The Change" program to automatically transfer money into your savings account.

• If you use a credit union for your banking needs, keep your money in your "Share" savings account until the day your bills are due. Not only will you gain a little interest on it but you'll also have the satisfaction of knowing it's invested locally in other members' homes, cars and businesses.
• Debit cards don't charge interest. Credit card debt does. It's easier to avoid debt using a debit card and save your line of credit for major emergencies like medical co-payments. Buy down your debt as fast as you can, that's as good as savings and puts that emergency resource back in your hands.

Think back to all the things I wanted to buy … and didn’t. 

By now, I'll bet you have a list of things you really wanted to buy but didn’t. Some of them look silly by now, some were quite reasonable but the timing was wrong. Every time you get the urge to buy something, look back to your  experience, and think, “Will it be like the time I wanted to buy ….. and didn’t? (Or maybe I did!) Will it look silly (or will I feel silly) after a while as well?”

In O. Henry's classic Christmas story The Gift of the Magi, Della Young sells her most prized possession, her long, beautiful hair, in order to buy her husband, Jim, a Christmas present. The present she chooses is a chain for Jim's heirloom pocket watch, the only valuable thing he owns. When she presents her gift to Jim, she discovers that he has sold his watch in order to buy a set of ornate combs for her beautiful hair. The moral of the story is that you don't have to buy anything to be happy.

I have some friends coming today and they are going to use the drill to hang up some heavy pictures and a mirror. That is a lovely way to show friendship!

That makes me happy!

Quite pleasant now

I am getting a kick out of this new situation, even though I still feel a bit like I'm in a vacation apartment or somebody else's flat. The couch is new, the dining table is "new" (ebay), the kitchen is new. The old  things are in completely different places.

Yet that is what I am looking for. A slight awakening shake out of my "everyday is the same" lethargy. This might have been more than a tender quiver - it felt like an earthquake at times!

The tea tastes awful here if you use water straight from the tap. So I bought a filter. I tried distilled water and that works nicely, too.

And it is at least 4 to 5 degrees cooler in the apartment here. For the first time in years, I don't sweat like Schwarzenegger while sleeping or sitting in the living room. I can even wear my thick sweaters. Haven't seen them in years.

The only challenge ahead (that I can see) is getting my passport back from the Indian Consulate. They need to put a visa in it for my trip next week to Goa. No passport - no Go(-a).

I think I'll get back into the fun of cooking again. I have lots more working and cutting space on the counter and everything else has its own little home. I just have to remember where those little items are living.

30 Things to Let Go of Before the New Year

1. Let go of your temper. – Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.
2. Let go of petty grudges. – Life is far too short to be spent nursing bitterness and registering wrongs.  If there’s someone in your life who deserves another chance, give it to them.  If you need to apologize, do it.  Give your story together a happy, new beginning.
3. Let go of the idea that everyone has it better than you. – If the grass looks greener on the other side…  Stop staring.  Stop comparing.  Stop complaining and START watering the grass you’re standing on.
4. Let go of lingering false beliefs. – Stop from time to time and ask yourself, “Is it true?”  It’s funny how we can sometimes wrap our minds around things and fit them into our version of reality.  But thinking something does not make it true.  Wanting something does not make it real.  So watch your thoughts.  Be wise.  When your identity is not rooted in the truth, it can lead to toxic and lonely places where we seek approval from the wrong things. 
5. Let go of expired ideals. – Growth is painful.  Change is painful.  But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you do not belong.
6. Let go of yesterday’s tragedies. – You are not what has happened to you; you are what you choose to become in this moment.  Drop the needless burden, take a deep breath and start again.  Ultimately, you will know you are on the right track in life when you become disinterested in looking back, and eager to take the next step.
7. Let go of your tendency to avoid problems. – You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
8. Let go of life’s little annoyances. – Don’t let dumb little things break your happiness.  Frustration and stress come from the way you react, not the way things are.  Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone.
9. Let go of assuming other people are more “normal” than you. – The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.  Period.
10. Let go acting standoffish and unapproachable. Don’t avoid eye contact.  Don’t hide behind gadgets.  Smile often.  Ask about people’s stories.  Listen.
11. Let go of the idea that some people are below you. – Even if you’ve worked really hard to get to where you are in life, there’s no such thing as a self-made person.  Someone believed, encouraged, and invested in you.  Be grateful and be that someone for others too.  What goes around eventually comes around.  No one has ever made themselves strong in the long run by showing how small someone else is.  So don’t be lazy and make assumptions about people.  Ask about their story.  Then listen.  Be humble.  Be teachable.  Be human.  Be a good neighbor.
12. Let go of the idea that you are what you physically own. – You are an incredible human being who’s entirely detached from what you have physically acquired in this world.  Remember to remain humble.  Ultimately, two things define you more than anything else: Your patience when you have very little, and your attitude when you have more than enough.
13. Let go of wanting stuff you don’t need. – Don’t think of cost.  Think of value.  And remember, it’s always easier to find wealth by needing less, instead of making more and more and more.  
14. Let go of seeking happiness from outside yourself. – In life, you have to create your own sunshine.  Happiness starts from within.  So read something positive every morning and do something positive before you go back to sleep.  Keep your focus on all the positive possibilities and opportunities, and you will feel great.  Feel great, and you will do great things.
15. Let go of wanting to be repaid of every good deed you do. – Don’t worry too much about what’s in it for you.  If you’re making a positive contribution to others, there’s always something in it for you.  You were born with the ability to change someone’s life.  Don’t ever waste it.  Be kind.  Be present.  Be someone who makes a difference.
16. Let go of all the little white lies and charades. – How do you build credibility?  It’s not rocket science.  Be honest.  Follow through.  Honor your promises.  Say sorry when you screw up.  Be the type of person you want to meet and spend time with.  Be the type of person whose actions, words and values always agree with each other.
17. Let go of any hypocrisy. – For instance, don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.
18. Let go of putting everyone else’s needs in front of your own. – Give as much as you can every day, but don’t allow yourself to be used.  
19. Let go of fearing what your intuition is telling you to do. – Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.  So don’t let fear shut you down; let it wake you up.  Do one thing every day that scares you.  The more that you act on your intuition fearlessly, the more your intuition will serve you.  If you genuinely feel something, pay attention.
20. Let go of waiting for the stars to align. – Remember, you don’t always need the perfect plan.  Sometimes you just need to give it a try, let go, and see what happens.  Just do the best you can until you know better.  Once you know better, do better.
21. Let go of the need to get everything done at once. – Keep going.  True purpose has no time limit.  True purpose has no deadline.  Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself.  Just do what you can right now.
22. Let go of the “all or nothing” mentality regarding success. – Appreciate the grey area between the extremes of success and failure – the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.  And above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.
23. Let go of criticizing yourself. – Nobody is inspired by your misery or self-deprecating comments.  If you wish to inspire yourself and others, be joyful.  Have fun.  Love yourself.  Forgive yourself.  Accept yourself.  Be unapologetically YOU.
24. Let go of those who say you aren’t attractive enough. – More women worldwide are suffering from anorexia and bulimia than are fighting breast cancer.  There are similar statistics for men too.  Love yourself the way you are, because you are beautiful just the way you are.
25. Let go of changing just to impress people. – Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future.  Change because you know it’s the right thing to do for YOU.
26. Let go of needing everyone to like you. – Everyone doesn’t need to like you, and some people won’t no matter what you do.  Try not to take the things these people say about you personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.  
27. Let go of all negative influences.  Period. – You can’t expect to feel good if you surround yourself with negativity.  Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
28. Let go of thinking that giving up the wrong things (and relationships) means failure. – Giving up and moving on are two very different things.
29. Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over and get it right. – Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.
30. Let go of putting things off for one more day. – Stop procrastinating.  Stop wishing for it and start working for it.  Do what you have to do today so you can do what you truly want to do, and be where you truly want to be, tomorrow.

post written by: Marc Chernoff

It is starting to look like home

I finally got the internet set up but the land line doesn't yet work. At least I have two cell phones.

This has been an exhausting week!

I moved last weekend and have been frantically unpacking since.

Monday, I paid to have someone pick up a white leather couch and it turned out to be huge. Of course the guys had to rip off half of the wall trying to get the thing into the living room. Grrrrr.

Tuesday, I had to stop the settling in efforts to give a seminar about an hour from here. Good that I had put the materials to the side or I would never have found them.

Wednesday, it took an hour to get back to the old flat. Daggone traffic jams here in Germany. My cleaning lady and I swept and cleaned until the apartment looked really good. The landlady came while I was out getting some bank business taken care of. I didn't take any pictures and I didn't have her sign anything. Let's see if I get ripped off with the security deposit. (My daughter screamed at me when she found out I was so trusting/naive.)
I've included an article about what you should do when moving out at the bottom.

Thursday, unpacking. Starting at 5 am. The office was so full, I couldn't move. The worst part is, I put my Amazon account back on active and promptly sold a book! Where in the world, in those 100 boxes, is the Amazon box with THAT book?! It took a long time but I finally found it and sent it off on my way to work.

Friday, I was up at 4:30 (did I mention that I can't sleep well here?) and had worked four hours before my new cleaning lady showed up. What a great worker she turned out to be! She carried heavy boxes, cleaned the basement room and organized everything so I can get in there, unpacked, etc. She was here for four hours. When she left, I fell into bed for a short nap. This kind of activity is exhausting!

My daughter was supposed to help me this morning. She came at about 10 and we went over to the street market (one of the charming things here in Germany) and checked out the health stores. After eating a small lunch, she left for krav maga, or something like that. Where she learns to destroy attackers. :- Which is very amusing since she weighs about 115 pounds...

The kitchen is set up, the new laundry situation works (I strung a clothesline across my bathroom), and the living room looks kind of nice. It is only 5 pm but already dark here in Germany.

Think I'll go unpack a box.



How to Avoid Getting Charged When Moving Out of an Apartment
by Kathryn Hatter, Demand Media


A thorough cleaning can help avoid security deposit deductions.

When you sign an apartment lease, a part of the rental agreement probably included paying a security deposit in addition to monthly rent. The purpose of the security deposit is to cover damage and expenses that the landlord may incur from your use of the apartment or your sudden vacating of it. If you want to avoid getting charged when moving out of an apartment, follow instructions for giving notice of intent to vacate and then clean with gusto to make the apartment look spiffy before you leave.

Items you will need
Move-out checklist
Cleaning supplies
Spackling paste
Paint
Vacuum cleaner
Feather duster
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Step 1
Read your lease carefully to make sure you're complying with vacating terms. If your lease is ending, the lease may stipulate that you need to notify your landlord of your intent to not renew by a specific date. If you're vacating before the end of the lease, you'll need to communicate directly with the landlord about your plans to vacate. The landlord may have grounds to withhold all or part of your deposit to recover expenses and lost revenue from your move in this situation. Write the landlord a letter that explains your plans to vacate the apartment in detail and send it to the landlord within the time frame specified in the lease. Include your new address in the letter so your landlord knows where to send your deposit refund.

Step 2
Get a moving-out checklist from the landlord before you vacate the premises. This should be a written checklist that spells out exactly what the landlord expects you do to before leaving, including cleaning, painting and repairing walls, appliances and floors.

Step 3
Move every item that belongs to you out of the apartment. Empty every cupboard, drawer and closet. Many landlords will charge tenants a fee if it’s necessary to move items and furniture out of a vacated apartment.

Step 4
Clean the kitchen from top to bottom, including cabinets, counters, sinks, floors and appliances. It’s especially important to get the stovetop and oven spic and span, removing every spatter of grease and food debris. Similarly, clean out the refrigerator and freezer to make them spotless. If the freezer needs defrosting, perform this maintenance too.

Step 5
Clean the bathrooms from top to bottom, including sinks, counters, floors, mirrors, tub and toilet. Make the toilet gleam and scrub out the tub and shower to remove every trace of soap scum or mildew. If the shower curtain was one you purchased, remove it.

Step 6
Check the walls for damage and make any minor repairs. If you see tiny cracks or holes in the walls, fill them with spackling paste. Repaint over the spackled areas to match the walls – it shouldn’t be hard to match because most apartments have white walls. If you painted any walls after getting the landlord’s permission, you’ll have to paint them the original color again before you move out.

Step 7
Vacuum the carpets thoroughly. While you vacuum, look for any stains or damage. If you find stains that you created, use a carpet stain remover to scrub out the stains. If the entire carpet seems soiled, rent a carpet cleaner.

Step 8
Sweep hard-surface floors to remove dust and debris. Damp-mop tile and vinyl floors.

Step 9
Clean the windows with window cleaner. If the apartment came with window coverings such as blinds, dust them with a feather duster or damp cloth. Dust the windowsills with a damp cloth too.

Step 10
Return all keys, garage door openers and other gadgets that were included with the apartment. Failure to return every item may necessitate deductions from your deposit.

Step 11
Walk through the apartment with the landlord before you leave so you can provide input as the landlord is inspecting the premises. If the landlord finds issues, provide information as appropriate. For example, if the frayed spot on the carpeting inside the hall closet was there when you moved in, give the landlord this information.

Moving accomplished

Last week I wrote the following but couldn't get it online:

November 22, 2014

Well, it’s done. Almost. At least the move over here.

I hate to admit it but moving is exhausting. I was up at 4:30 the last two mornings but I still felt like I was a dog chasing his tail. Now, I am sitting in my recliner with a cup of green tea and feel “rode hard and put away wet”.

Yesterday the moving crew arrived at 8 am and immediately I felt like I was being pushed by a tsunami. They knew exactly what to do, worked very systematically from room to room – until they encountered an obstacle - me.

I had worked very hard to have everything ready but I didn’t manage to have the whole lot packed. My PLAN (the best laid plans of mice and men…) was to purge and pack. Friends, purging takes more time than you think. When you purge, you must also resist the urge – the urge to peek into that long forgotten photo album of your babies when they were just born, or, run through all the old magazines to check which ones you want to keep (don’t even THINK about it—just toss unseen), or, consider if anyone would want that perfectly good whatever. It all takes time, and time I didn’t have anymore.

After about two hours, the boss sent one of the vans over to the new apartment and I had to go with them to show them where everything was supposed to go. After getting that done (did I mention that the driving time each way was at least 30 minutes?!), the boss called and told the guys to come back and pick up the kitchen where I had bought it a month ago. While they were going for the kitchen, I was supposed to wait for the other van and show where things were supposed to go.  The trouble is, I had to go back to my “old” town and pay cash for the kitchen, which meant that I couldn’t be in the new flat. The other guys, now on their way back, had no idea where the kitchen company was. So I raced around until I found the janitor, pressed my keys into his paws and dashed off to Haan. When I got back to my old apartment, nobody was there! 

I dashed up into the flat, found the moving company’s number, called the secretary for the boss’s cell phone number and gave him a ring. He was furious! It turned out that one of my guys had put premium gas into his boss’s diesel van! Catastrophe. To make matters worse, we were supposed to pick up the kitchen before two pm and it was already one pm. I raced over to pay and my card didn’t work. So I bolted off to find a bank. Then the boss called me and asked me to go pick up one of the stranded workers, take him with me to the kitchen place and have him stand guard because the kitchen parts would then be outside of the building (since it was closing at two). Of course there was a traffic jam where I had to pick the guy up.

Finally, a quickly rented van showed up and the guys got the kitchen loaded and were supposed to head straight to the new apartment.

It took them an hour.

The guy who was supposed to install the kitchen had been waiting all afternoon to get started.  Toward late afternoon he finally could begin but left when I did at about 7:30 pm. And that is the way everything ended. No more kitchen helper, no functioning kitchen. Lots of sawdust everywhere. 

I slept in the old apartment since the movers were coming early. There was one bed and one couch in the flat and the messy office. Extremely cozy for my weary self.

This morning, I was up at 4:45 and was madly packing again. I was supposed to completely pack the rest of my office things and I still needed to finish packing things from my old kitchen.

Promptly at 8 the movers appeared. At 8:45, the new owners of my old kitchen appeared to disassemble everything. So now we had real chaos. Two people in the kitchen who kept asking for tools or a ladder, 3 guys grabbing up everything movable and a bossy, smart-alecky chief-of-operations barking orders and chain-smoking. (One time, he shouted at me that he was talking to me. I said “Oh, I didn’t think you were talking to me because I don’t know ANYONE who would be so rude to me”. That shut him up.)

I was so glad to have everyone leave. This whole thing was quite exhausting. And expensive.

It is hardly possible to get into my new office because almost every centimeter is covered with boxes. Even though I labeled the boxes, I find kitchen things in the bedroom and office things in the living room. When in doubt, stick the box in the office was their motto. So the heavy boxes reached the ceiling!! Now how am I supposed to get them down?!

So that’s where I am. Tired and drowning in stuff. If I’d done this move two years ago when I began this downsizing project, I would have ended up in the madhouse!!

So I’ll keep on with the quest. As I slowly move into retirement the next couple of years, I’ll not need the special books and seminar equipment anymore. So I need to keep on selling and recycling. Never give up!