Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Patches of Life

Patches of Life

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I am now in Kentucky with my sister, enjoying checking out old haunts and being amazed at its growth since we left many, many years ago. We are here to inter the ashes of our parents, which is saddening but satisfying. That was their wish.

Life seems to be to be a series of patches, making up a giant patchwork quilt! I am not sure what the unit of measure is. For me, it seems to be a period of about 10 years. Slightly more.

Looking back, I can discern phases of my life that were essential and made a difference, perhaps even a large change, in my life. Moving to Germany, learning the language and the way of life, having children and leading them toward a vision filled with important values, separation and new start. I stumbled into a whole new vocation while slowly leaving my old behind. I wrote books and they were published. Now that my parents are gone, I feel like it is up to me to strive forward (without being as stoic as that sounds) and make the most of the final chapters of my life, of course hoping that these chapters are long and exciting.

One of my new patches will contain being more in the present.

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what's past. "We're living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence," says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace. We're always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.
When we're at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don't appreciate the living present because our "monkey minds," as Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree.

It is amazing how often I catch myself in another time than the now! Getting caught in memories which, in turn, stimulate emotions. Often, these emotions aren't helpful in the least! But now, at least, I am becoming aware of this tendency and can stop myself, pulling myself back into the present moment. Watching my breathing and watching my thoughts "as an observer" are helping enormously. 

How are your "patches" shaping up?

Friday, July 25, 2014

25 Ways To Make Time For Fitness


Too busy to work out? Doubtful. The truth: Finding moments to move is entirely within your grasp.
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Most common excuse for not exercising?
Survey says: “No time.” But examine that excuse at close range and you’ll see it’s usually about something deeper, says Lavinia Rodriguez, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Mind Over Fat Matters: Conquering Psychological Barriers to Weight Management (iUniverse, 2008). “Typically, it’s lack of motivation, lack of enjoyment, negative associations, fear or maybe low self-esteem,” she says.
Busy as we may be, we have less trouble finding time for television, social networking or even dull household tasks, Rodriguez observes, because there simply aren’t the same steep psychological barriers to those activities.
“Most people are in denial about their health,” says fitness-industry icon Richard Simmons. “We all have reasons for not exercising, but it all comes down to time management and fear. Fear you’ll get hurt. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of failure.”
But what we’d be better off being afraid of, he says, is what will happen if we don’t exercise. How will a sedentary lifestyle be affecting you next year? In five or 10 years?
“Will you have time for multiple doctors appointments?” he asks. “Will you have the time and money to take medication every day to treat high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes?” Just as important, what do you stand to gain by finally taking your health off the back burner?
If you want to exercise, you’ll make the time. We interviewed psychologists, exercise scientists, celebrity trainers, authors and busy everyday people to get a handle on the 25 most promising strategies.

1. Make a Plan.

“The best way to make time for exercise is to have a written plan,” says Chris Evert, 18-time Grand Slam tennis champion. “Decide on the best time for exercise in your schedule and actually enter it into your computer or cell-phone calendar as a repeat event. This way it shows up daily and there’s less chance of you scheduling something during that time. Also, when you check your schedule in the morning, you’ll see it there and form a mental picture of when and how you’ll be exercising that day, which helps you stay motivated.”

2. Subdivide Your to-do list.

Rather than making one long to-do list you’ll never complete, divide your list into three categories, advises Lisa Druxman, MA, exercise counselor and founder of the Stroller Strides (www.strollerstrides.com) and Mama Wants Her Body Back (www.mamawants.com) programs. “It’s not enough to get things done,” she says. “You need to get the right things done. It’s OK to have dirty clothes in your hamper. It’s OK if you don’t read every email the moment you receive it. It’s not OK to cheat your health.” Druxman suggests the following to-do list makeover:
• Take out a sheet of paper and create three boxes that represent the most important parts of your life (e.g., family, work, yourself).
• List the top three to-dos that would make the most difference in each category. For family, it might be cooking or helping with homework. For work, it might be returning phone calls or completing a presentation. For yourself, include exercise, plus something else nurturing, like calling a friend or having a healthy lunch.
• Finally, block out times on your calendar for those specific to-dos, and honor those very specific commitments.
Having trouble deciding which to-dos are most important? “Think about the things that will have the most impact not just today, but a year from now,” Druxman says

3. Find five minutes.

Even if your day is packed with meetings and other commitments, you absolutely can eke out five minutes for yourself, says Simmons. And that simple act of self-care has the potential to change your life. “I tell people it’s OK to start very, very small.” A five-minute walk now can easily turn into daily 30-minute walks a few weeks from now. “You have to start somewhere,” he says.

4. Limit screen time.

Don’t aimlessly surf cable channels or the Internet, says Rodriguez. That’s a surefire way to waste time you could be spending in more active ways. Before you sit down, set a time limit (consider keeping a kitchen timer nearby to alert you when time’s up). Most of us occasionally watch shows we don’t love because we’re bored, notes Franklin Antoian, CPT, founder of iBodyFit.com. “Consider trading just 30 minutes of that low-value television time for exercise,” he says. “My guess is you won’t miss it.”

5. Be an active watcher.

When you do watch TV, make the most of it. Do some ball-crunches, planks, yoga poses, squats, lunges or pushups while you’re watching. Keep fitness equipment, such as a kettlebell, resistance bands and a jump rope, near the TV. Or use the commercial breaks to mix in brief cardio intervals. Run in place or up and down the stairs; do some burpees or jumping jacks.

6. Delegate like crazy.

Reassess household chores: Can the kids do laundry? Can your spouse cook dinner? What professional tasks can you hand off so you can get out for a walk at lunch or stop by the gym on the way home? Don’t think you’re the only one who can do all of the things you’re currently doing. Look, too, for things that could be done less often — or that might not need to get done at all.

7. Be motivated by money.

Putting some money on the line may provide you with the motivation you need to show up for activity. Sign up for a yoga workshop, book some sessions with a personal trainer, or plunk down some cash for a race or other athletic event you’ll have to train for. Schedule a babysitter to watch the kids while you go for a run. Or take a few salsa lessons.

8. Think positive.

Psychologists suggest that actively editing your negative self-talk patterns is a powerful way to support healthier lifestyle choices. For example, anytime you catch yourself thinking, “I am too busy to work out,” rephrase the thought in more positive, empowering terms, such as, “I choose to make myself a priority.” Or, “I do have time to be healthy.” Or, “I am willing to do something active today.” Over time, those positive thought patterns will elbow out the negative ones, helping you to see your available choices more clearly.

9. Be a hot date.

Dinner and a movie is so cliché, says Shannon Hammer, motivational speaker and author of The Positive Portions Food & Fitness Journal(Fairview Press, 2010). What if, instead, you took your date/partner/love-interest to a cycling class or a ballroom dance lesson, went on a hike or a picnic, or kicked a soccer ball around the park? Bonus: Research shows that shared activity builds attraction.

10. Do brisk business.

Chances are, many of your coworkers are in the same boat as you: They want to exercise, but have trouble finding the time. So, what if you move the weekly progress update or brainstorm session to the sidewalk, or stand during meetings? Can your group hike to the coffee shop rather than order in? Can you woo a new client over a tennis match instead of dinner? The fresh air and endorphins will spark more creative ideas, Hammer says.

11. Socialize on the move.

Next time a friend suggests meeting for lunch, dinner or drinks, counter with an active invitation. How about joining you for a yoga class or a quick walk around the lake? Instead of spending time on the phone or emailing back and forth, suggest that you catch up on the latest news over a leisurely bike ride, or bond by trying an athletic pursuit, like indoor climbing, that neither of you has ever tried.

12. Work it in.

Diedre Pai, 35, is a mom to two girls under age 3. With an infant and toddler constantly in tow, she’s had to get creative with her exercise routine. While picking up toys, towels and trash off the floor, she increases glute and leg strength by doing squats instead of bending at the waist. “I do calf raises whenever I’m standing at the counter or stove, and when I’m going upstairs to change a diaper,” she says. Whenever she picks up her baby, she does a few overhead lifts. “That always makes her giggle.” Kids playing outside? “I get in there and run and climb at their speed, which gets my heart rate up,” she says. Over the course of a single day, Pai estimates she gets about 60 minutes of exercise this way.“I consider parenting to be a full-contact sport,” she says, “and being in shape makes me a better player.”

13. Find a cheerleader.

What looks like lack of time is often lack of motivation, so consider recruiting emotional support. “I decided 35 years ago that I would be the court jester of health and get people excited about fitness,” says legendary activity advocate Richard Simmons. “Because, when you’re excited about something, you find time to do it.” Nominate a friend, family member, life coach or personal trainer to be your cheerleader and encourage you (positive messages only; no nagging) on a daily basis. Or, join an online community like www.fitlink.com that emphasizes can-do camaraderie.

14. Be yourself.

Part of the reason you can’t make time for exercise may be because you’re not focusing on the right workout for your personality, says Marta Montenegro, MS, CSCS, CPT, celebrity trainer and exercise physiology professor at Florida International University. For example, don’t assume you’re a runner just because your best friend loves to run, she says. “Instead, analyze your lifestyle and personality to find a routine that suits you.” Once you understand your fitness personality, you’ll be able to identify activities you actually enjoy, and squeezing them into your schedule won’t be nearly as hard. (For more, see “Your Fitness Personality.”)

15. Bring the family.

If family obligations prevent you from fitting in regularly scheduled workouts, rope your gang into other types of group activities. Schedule family hikes, soccer games, after-dinner walks, bike rides or family trips to the gym. Let the kids suggest family-activity options. And remember that exercise is something you’re doing for your family, says Pai. “When the kids see that exercise is important to Mommy and Daddy, it will be important to them, too.”

16. Take your show on the road.

As you’re packing for a business trip or vacation, be sure to include your workout clothes, says tennis champ Chris Evert. Just packing them signals to your brain that you intend to make time for exercise. As for what to do? “Spend 15 to 20 minutes swimming laps, running stairs, or jogging on the hotel treadmill first thing in the morning,” she says. No gym or pool? Ask the front desk if they offer guest passes to a neighborhood gym. “Or, when my schedule is tight,”says Evert, “I do some yoga while catching the morning news on TV.”

17. Hit “play.”

“Exercise DVDs are cost-effective, private and flexible, and they allow you to stop and start your workouts based on real-life time constraints,” says Hammer. (So, for example, you can do laundry while working out.) Hammer used this approach to shed more than 100 pounds while going to school full-time and working. Try Pilates workouts from Brooke Siler (Anchor Bay), fitness training with Erin O’Brien (Acacia) or yoga with Shiva Rea (Acacia).

18. Rise and shine.

For most people, the day only gets more demanding as it goes on, says celebrity trainer and fitness DVD star Sara Haley. “Exercising first thing in the morning will ensure you fit it in,” she says. Lay out your workout clothes the night before, she suggests. “This way you won’t waste any time and can’t claim you forgot anything.”

19. Ditch your ride.

Whenever feasible, hop on the bus, train or subway, or ride your bike to work or to run errands, says Haley. If you can’t do it every day, try for once a week. People who take alternative transportation tend to get more exercise than daily car commuters.

20. Master the micro-workout.

Whether you’re at work or home, never let yourself sit idle for more than a couple of hours, says Mark Lauren, certified military physical-training specialist, triathlete and author of You Are Your Own Gym (Light of New Orleans Publishing, 2010). Build in a loop around the block when you grab a cup of coffee, or plan 10-minute breaks at regular intervals to stretch or do a brief circuit workout. “I like to throw in random sets of body-weight exercise throughout the day. One hard set of 12 or fewer reps won’t make most people sweat if they’re in an air-conditioned building, but it will be enough to make a difference if done several times throughout each day,” says Lauren. It takes less than 30 seconds to do 15 pushups or sit-ups, he points out. So don’t say you don’t have time. Set an alarm on your computer to remind you. (For specific exercise ideas, see “Workday Workouts.”)

21. Hit it hard.

“When you’re short on time, focus on higher-payoff workouts,” says Timothy Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman (Crown Archetype, 2010). “If you’re focused, there’s no reason you can’t get results in less than 20 minutes a week.” His favorite routines? Kettlebell swings (consider keeping a kettlebell by your desk) and slow-motion resistance training. “One female case study cut her body fat 3 percentage points in roughly four weeks with only five minutes of kettlebell swings three times a week,” he says. The key is staying focused and maintaining a high intensity throughout the mini-workout session. For a fast and furious workout idea, check out weightlifting complexes in “Simplicity Complex” — or search on “HIIT” (short for high-intensity interval training).

22. Wear your pedometer.

“As we get older, we typically take fewer steps per day,” says Wayne Andersen, MD, medical director of Take Shape For Life, a nationwide health and lifestyle coaching program based in Owings Mills, Md. “By age 60, most people are down to about 4,500 steps. Your goal should be to maintain 10,000.” The best way to do that is to get a pedometer at your local sporting goods store, or download an app that converts your cell phone to a pedometer. Those wearing pedometers tend to walk more because they’re more conscious of their steps. Looking for extra credit? “Climbing a flight of stairs is the equivalent of walking 100 steps,” says Andersen.

23. Adopt a DIY mentality.

“Start doing things by hand instead of letting a machine do them for you,” suggests Andersen. This might include snow shoveling, pushing a lawn mower, raking leaves or hanging laundry to dry. “Also, ditch remote controls and other automatic devices that undermine your body’s energy use.”

24. Work while you wait.

Katy Gaenicke, mother of two boys, found a creative solution to her “no time” dilemma. She spends a lot of time on the sidelines of football practices and games near their home in Boston. “I started bringing my bike with me and riding around near the fields while my son practices,” she says. Evert has used this technique, too: “Instead of cramming in one more errand while your kids are at their activities, put on your sneakers and
take a walk for the hour.”

25. Phone it in.

Have a conference call you can’t miss? Need to return a few phone calls to family and friends? Grab your cell phone (and, ideally, a headset) and get walking. Assuming your area has reliable reception, strive to walk whenever you’re on the phone. A note of caution, though: Talking and listening will tend to distract you from the fact you’re exercising. That can be a good thing, or a dangerous thing. So always take care to remain aware of your surroundings, traffic and so on. The goal is to squeeze exercise in wherever you can — safely.
Gina DeMillo Wagner is a frequent contributor to Experience Life.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Afformations

Afformations ~ Creating the “Why?” and Retraining the Subconscious Mind …


An afformation (developed by Noah St. John) is a form of a positive affirmation, the only difference is it allows your subconscious mind to co-create and “form” your experiences by asking “why” in the form of a question versus just saying it as a statement!  This helps with retraining your subconscious mind and limiting beliefs which is ultimately what drives your true beliefs and creates your current life experiences.
Sometimes when we say an affirmation our subconscious mind is not completely convinced and part of being human is to challenge a statement of fact since your underlying knowing is already in conflict with that statement of fact (based on your personal life’s experiences) and then resistance is immediately built up against it as being not true!  For instance, saying “I am rich” may provoke a feeling of … whatever, yeah right, lets get back into reality because blah, blah, blah.
Whereas asking it in the form of a question enables creativity, collaboration, possibilities and a willingness to explore.  It offers your subconscious mind the POWER to co-create and collaborate with YOU through the Universal possibilities and offers a willingness to being open and explores all of the Divine energy, options, guidance and with perfect timing for the highest good of all involved!  Afformations FEEL non-resistant because you fully consciously and subconsciously are open to collaboration and allows for supreme creativity.
Sometimes you will receive a concrete answer and sometimes it’s more of a knowing or subtle shift in energy and awareness which drives, forms, shapes and changes your subconscious beliefs which ultimately affects your internal guidance system and current life’s experiences energetically.  Afformations are collaborative therefore, evokes a win-win and that is essential in resolving conflict of any kind but especially one of desire and simultaneously feeling the fear based on your life’s experiences to date with respects to a specific topic or area!
The best time to do this is before falling asleep so that your brain can work on “how” to get you there with the most ease and speed.  The subconscious mind makes up 90% of our brain, it is known as the gate keeper and never sleeps.  Our conscious mind makes up the other 10% which we use cognitively everyday during our waking hours.  This way the subconscious mind can take on those good feelings you are emitting by visualizing the collaborative effort with both the conscious and subconscious brain by asking “Why?” and will work on the best way to bring that experience into your existence!  This allows the Higher-Self, your Guides, the Universe, Angels and God/Goddess to fill you with direction, ideas, creativity, next steps, vibrational energy, belief, etc; during your sleeping hours without the interference of doubt, disbelief and resistance.
Be sure to add in all directions of time and so it is done; this or something better!  This way it affects all directions of time since you are eternal and you are exercising your power through stating and so it is done.  By stating this or something better you will not limit yourself from the miracles of the Universe and are open to receive all of the gifts that the Universe has to offer! 
Try the following experiment … Say the affirmation “I am rich!” and notice how you feel.  Now try the afformation “Why am I rich?” and notice the difference.  Which one felt better?  Collaborative?  Creative?  Non-resistant?
 Here’s Noah St. John’s four steps to using afformations:
  1. State what you want: a goal, desire however large or small.
  2. Create an empowering question that assumes that you already have the thing that you desire.  (Why is it so easy and effortless for me to earn an abundant income?)
  3. Give yourself the question by putting the afformation into your consciousness by repeating it multiple times each day, singing it, chanting it, writing it down and carrying it with you … you kinda get the idea.
  4. Take action based on your new assumption from step #2.  Write down whatever comes to you regardless of how silly it sounds and take actions based on those thoughts, feelings and guidance. 
To use afformations to reverse limiting beliefs and negative self talk: 
  1. Write down the limiting belief or something negative that you catch yourself repeating in your head on a regular basis.
  2. Write down the opposite of what is being assumed as true in step #1.
  3. Create an Afformation based on this new assumption using “Why?”
For example, if you feel like there’s not enough people that need your products or services a good afformation could be “Why is what I offer so valuable to others?”
I feel it’s best if you pick several afformations that’s believable to you (gauge by how it feels to you) to work with and really focus on them repeatedly for the next 30 days.  Do whatever you can to get them deep into your system, deep into your psyche.  It could be reading them in the morning, the evening and referring to them at key times throughout the day; and especially at night right before falling asleep.  What matters most is that you get it into your system in a way that feels good to you so that you will continue to keep doing it.  This step and the taking action (step 4 from above) are the most important in terms of creating a permanent change in your behavior or habit.
At the end of 30 days, take a look back and see what has changed for you.  Then re-evaluate what shifts have occurred and place your focus on those areas (priorities) to work with next, this is living through child-like eyes, asking “Why?” and seeing the world as your playground and giving YOU the ability to co-create however it is that YOU DESIRE!
I have personally found that adding How, What, and Where is very helpful in certain forms of questions as well.
 Positive Mental/Attitude: 
  1. Why do I accomplish anything I set my mind on?
  2. Why do I have the energy and passion to make my thoughts a reality?
  3. Why does everything I want come to me effortlessly?
  4. How come at every turn, opportunity appears before me?
  5. Why am I a successful in all that I do?
  6. Why do I believe in me?
  7. Why am I so Lucky?
  8. Why do I always see the positive in all situations?
  9. Why am I so excited to wake up every morning?
  10. Why am I always in the right place, at the right time, doing and saying all the right things to get exactly what I want, need and desire?
  11. Why does everyone believe in me?
  12. Why do I know I am responsible for my own attitude?
  13. Why are my thoughts clear and focused?
  14. Why do I know exactly what I want?
  15. Why am I a creative genius?
  16. Why do I know exactly what I desire?
  17. Why am I confident?
  18. Why am I living the life of my dreams and with passion?
  19. Why am I so good at everything I do?
  20. Why do I learn so much from every experience?
  21. Why am I willing to let go of the past?
  22. Why do I love life?
  23. Why is everyday a FUN day?
  24. Why do I expect something great to happen today?
  25. Why do I feel so blessed?
  26. Why am I so great at making decisions?
  27. Why do I have a great attitude?
  28. Why am I surrounded by LOVE in all forms?
  29. Why do I have everything I need right now to accomplish everything I want?
  30. Why am I whole, complete and fulfilled by life?
Money/Abundance/Prosperity: 
  1. Why did I finally release my fears and my doubts about money?
  2. Why am I easily accepting abundance into my life, now?
  3. Why am I getting wealthier each and every day?  Passive Income?  Direct Income?
  4. Why do I know I deserve abundance?
  5. Why do I have an abundance of money and an abundance of time to enjoy it with?
  6. Why does money come to me effortlessly?
  7. Why are my products and services continually so valuable to everyone?
  8. Why am I the luckiest person I know?
  9. Why am I truly a money magnet?
  10. Why am I thankful for the limitless, overflowing source of my abundance?
  11. Why does everything I touch return great abundance to me?
  12. Why am I great at managing such large amounts of money?
  13. Why does money come to me from unexpected sources?
  14. Why do I appreciate my money?
  15. Why do I live a truly abundant life?
  16. Why have I mastered saving money exponentially?
  17. Why has my savings accounts grown so large this year?  This month?  Today?
  18. Why do I have way more money than I could ever know what to do with?
  19. Why can I pay all my bills, months in advance?
  20. Why is donating 10% of my income to charity easier than it has ever been?
  21. Why do I know this is the best year yet for all of my bank accounts?
  22. Why does it feel like money really does grow on trees?
  23. Why does money love being with me?
  24. Why do I have abundantly more than I need to take that dream vacation this year?
  25. Why did I save more for retirement this year than all the previous years combined?
  26. Why do I finally feel financially secure?
  27. Why am I so effortlessly able to help those that I care about?
  28. Why do I make more money than anybody else I know?
  29. Why does my income grow in abundance with each passing day?
  30. Why do I trust that the Universe will always provide for me?
  31. Why do I always make such great financial decisions?
  32. Why am I abundantly grateful for all of my blessings?
  33. Why do I live such a blessed life?
  34. Why do I have so many great ideas when it comes to making money?
  35. Why am I passionate about making money?
  36. Why do I have multiple sources of income?
  37. Why do I even make money while I sleep?
  38. Why do I know I am worthy of having such great abundance?
  39. Why I am I able to make money doing the things I love the most?
  40. Why am I able to provide such an abundant life for my family?
  41. Why does doing the thing I love bring me more abundance then I ever dreamed of?
  42. Why do I enjoy paying my bills and balancing my check books?
  43. Why do I see opportunities to increase my abundance?
Relationships/Love:
  1. Why do I radiate love and happiness?
  2. Why do I know I am worthy of love?
  3. Why do I love, accept and appreciate myself for who I am?
  4. Why do I attract positive people into my life?
  5. Why am I more than good enough to be loved?
  6. Why am I surrounded with loving and caring people?
  7. Why is it the more I love, the more that love is returned to me?
  8. Why do I have such great, loving, successful long term relationships?
  9. Why do I get along so well with others?
  10. Why do people like me and want to be around me?
  11. Why am I so appreciative and grateful for my family and friends?
  12. Why do I accept people for who they are?
  13. Why do I always see the good in others?
  14. Why do I choose to focus on the positive attributes of myself and others?
  15. Why do I have the perfect partner for me?
  16. Why do my partner and I have a supportive relationship?
  17. Why have I finally released my fears and doubts about true love?
  18. Why is it so easy for me to express the love in my heart?
  19. Why do I know the love I have for others makes me a stronger, better person?
  20. Why do I love with such unconditional and great passion?
  21. Why do I stay present in all my relationships?
  22. Why do I freely let go of that which is not Love?
  23. Why am I such a great girlfriend/boyfriend?
  24. Why do I follow my gut in relationships?
  25. Why do I see the perfection in all the relationships in my life?
  26. Why do I take full responsibility for all the relationships that I have created?
  27. Why is it so easy for me to see both sides of every issue?
  28. Why have I released my need to over react to my partner?
  29. Why do my partner and I get along so well?
  30. Why am I surrounded by unconditional love?
  31. Why am I so confident in the future of my relationship?
  32. Why does my partner always do and say the right things to make me feel loved?
  33. Why am I able to trust my partner completely?
  34. Why is my partner able to trust me completely?
  35. Why is my partner able to see things from my point of view?
  36. Why do my partner and I communicate so well?
  37. Why do I create healthy, healing relationships?
  38. Why am I able to give my partner the space they desire?
  39. Why do I get along so well with all my in-laws?
  40. Why do I know I can have it all?
  41. Why do I easily let go of all the relationships that don’t serve my higher purpose?
Career/Job/Profession:
  1. Why do I possess an endless supply of creativity, and energy for any project I take on?
  2. Why do I make effective use of my time?
  3. Why are my career possibilities endless?
  4. Why do I get promoted fast?
  5. Why do others recognize me for all the good I do?
  6. Why does the Universe support my every effort?
  7. Why am I persistent in reaching my goals?
  8. Why do I always above and beyond my goals?
  9. Why do my co-worker love and appreciate me?
  10. Why do I love and appreciate my co-workers?
  11. Why do I love my job?
  12. Why am I grateful for my job?
  13. Why am I really great at what I do?
  14. Why do I have my dream job?
  15. Why am I living my passion?
  16. Why do I have so much passion for what I do?
  17. Why do I wake up every morning excited to go to work?
  18. Why do I have so much freedom in my job?
  19. Why do I make more than I ever imagined that I could?
  20. Why do I communicate my thoughts and ideas so clearly to others?
  21. Why do I work well with others?
  22. Why am I a team player?
  23. Why is everybody I work with so intelligent and great at their jobs?
  24. Why am I so confident in front of others?
  25. Why am I so successful?
  26. Why do I work in a gossip free environment?
  27. Why do I respect the people I work with?
  28. Why do I have the greatest boss in the world?
  29. Why am I noticed for all my achievements?
  30. Why do I have such a great relationship with all of my customers?
  31. Why does everything I touch at work turn to gold?
  32. Why do I make so much more than I ever thought I could?
  33. Why do I accomplish so much in such a short amount of time?
  34. Why do I get so many bonuses?
  35. Why am I the highest paid person in my industry?
  36. Why do I truly enjoy helping others?
  37. Why do I get weekends off?
  38. Why am I not only respected by those within my company but the industry as a whole?
  39. Why do I say exactly the right thing to make the sale every time?
Physical/Health:
  1. Why am I so fit and healthy?
  2. Why do I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being?
  3. Why do I lose weight so effortlessly?
  4. Why do I take deeper, longer, more relaxed breaths?
  5. Why do I take care of myself by eating and sleeping properly?
  6. Why is my body so intelligent and capable of healing itself so quickly?
  7. Why does every cell in my body vibrate with energy and health?
  8. Why do I feel so great?
  9. Why am I in control of my own well being?
  10. Why am I always in the stream of well being?
  11. Why do I love eating healthy?
  12. Why is exercise so much fun?
  13. Why am I so beautiful inside and out?
  14. Why when I look in the mirror do I see true beauty in my every imperfection?
  15. Why do I look so great naked?
  16. Why do I feel so sexy?
  17. Why do I love veggies and fruit?
  18. Why do I always remember to make vitamins every day?
  19. Why is it so easy for me to fall asleep at night?
  20. Why do I always go to sleep by 10:00 pm?
  21. Why do I always wake up refreshed?
  22. Why do I feel so good that I jump out of bed every morning?
  23. Why do I love to do strength training 3-4 times every week?
  24. Why do I put my health first?
  25. Why do I wake up every morning and exercise?
  26. Why do I have so much energy?
  27. Why do I have amazing abs?
  28. Why is my skin so perfect, clear and even-toned?
  29. Why does my butt look so great in my jeans?
  30. Why do I now have the exact shape I always wanted?
  31. Why are my stretch marks fading so quickly?
  32. Why do I get more beautiful/handsome every year?
  33. Why is my acne/acne scars disappearing?
  34. Why do I love my body?
  35. Why is it so easy for me to release all my bad habits?
  36. Why do I always do the exact right thing to get exactly body I want?
  37. Why do I already have a healthy beautiful body?
  38. Why are people always stopping me and telling me how beautiful I am?
  39. Why do I inspire others to make healthy decisions?
  40. Why do I know there is no such thing as incurable?
  41. Why is my body healthy, vibrant and youthful?
 Spiritual/Higher-Self:
  1. Why am I connected to the source of all things?
  2. Why am I unconditional LOVE?
  3. Why do I receive such accurate inner guidance from my source?
  4. Why do I appreciate my inner guidance and follow it faithfully?
  5. Why is all that I need inside me right now?
  6. Why does God love me and accept me unconditionally?
  7. Why do I love and appreciate God/Goddess?
  8. Why is my higher self always there for me to assist with all things?
  9. Why is it so easy for me to silence my thoughts and here God’s guidance?
  10. Why am I a spiritual be-ing enjoying a physical experience?
  11. Why do I create Heaven here on earth?
  12. Why am I so kind and loving to others?
  13. Why do I see the value in all things and all people?
  14. Why do I know that everyone deserves Love?
  15. Why do I accept people for who they are right now?
  16. Why do I enjoy meditating?
  17. Why do I always find time in my day to stop and appreciate the world that surrounds me?
  18. Why am I so intuitive to others feelings and needs?
  19. Why do I successfully practice non-judgment every day?
  20. Why do I see the beauty and perfection in all things?
  21. Why does every cell of my body vibrate with love?
  22. Why am I safe and protected always?
  23. Why do I always choose forgiveness?
  24. Why does forgiveness come so easily to me?
  25. Why do I know the Universe wants the absolute best for me?
  26. Why do I choose to accept responsibility for all that comes to me – good or bad?
  27. Why do I now release blame?
  28. Why are people healed in my presence?
  29. Why am I beautiful, tone, firm, fit, whole, complete, vibrant and healed?
  30. Why do I feel so blessed?
  31. Why is my life in perfect divine order?
 Combinations:
  1. Why do I gratefully accept all the health, wealth and happiness that the universe gives to me?
  2. Why do I deserve love, success and happiness?
  3. Why am I a lucky, happy, healthy, wealthy and successful person?
  4. How come love, health and wealth flows abundantly into my life?
  5. Why do I possess an abundance of creativity and energy?
  6. Why do I trust all that is and see the perfection that surrounds me?
  7. Why am I able to see things from the other person’s point of view?
  8. Why do I see the good in all people?
  9. Why do I reframe from gossiping or talking bad about others?
  10. Why are my chakras coming into perfect balance?
  11. Why do I choose happiness NOW?
  12. Why do I know if I want to change my life I first have to change my thoughts?
  13. Why do I choose LOVE always and release hatred and anger?
  14. Why do I accept this moment as if I chose it – because I did?
  15. Why do I now release all that no longer serve me?

The Power of Change

In The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Charles Duhigg describes a habit as “a formula our brain automatically follows: When I see CUE, I will do ROUTINE in order to get a REWARD.” He calls this the habit loop – CUE, ROUTINE, REWARD. 
Duhigg’s gives a nail biting example. By recognizing that nail biting is a “craving for stimulation” (REWARD) which is usually done when bored (CUE), the subject was able to replace the ROUTINE of nail biting with something that would  “provide a quick physical stimulation” – such as rubbing the arm or rapping the knuckles on a table – anything that would produce a physical response (REWARD).
Once you know what habit you want to change, you need to find your CUE so that you can change the habit loop because “over time, this loop – cue, routine, reward; cue, routine, reward – becomes more and more automatic". The cue and reward become intertwined until a powerful sense of anticipation and craving emerges. Eventually … a habit is born.” When The person felt bored so he automatically bit his  nails – the two became connected in the brain.
So to change a habit, “you must keep the old cue, and deliver the old reward, but insert a new routine.” Duhigg uses the example of eating a cookie at work every afternoon. In this example, you need to determine if you crave the cookie itself, a break from work, a burst of energy, or an excuse to socialize in the cafeteria. He suggests testing to see which craving is driving your routine. Try replacing the cookie with an apple, a cup of coffee, a walk outside, or a visit with a colleague. After each test, set an alarm for fifteen minutes and then ask yourself if you still feel the urge for that cookie. If fifteen minutes after chatting with a friend you find it easy to get back to work, then you’ve identified the REWARD that your habit sought to satisfy – temporary distraction and socialization. “By experimenting with different rewards, you can isolate what you are actually craving, which is essential in redesigning the habit.”
You also need to figure out the CUE. In order to do that, Duhigg suggests you write down the following five things that are happening when the urge or craving hits:
  1. Where are you?
  2. What time is it?
  3. What is your emotional state i.e. bored, happy, tired, excited, etc.?
  4. Who else is around?
  5. What action immediately preceded the urge?
In the cookie example, if you realize that the urge for the cookie hits at approximately the same time every day, you know that time of day is your CUE i.e. every day at approximately 3 pm you get the urge for a cookie. “Once you’ve figured out your habit loop – you’ve identified the reward driving your behavior, the cue triggering it, and the routine itself – you can begin to shift the behavior. You can change to a better routine by planning for the cue and choosing a behavior that delivers the reward you are craving. What you need is a plan.”
With the cookie example, you know that you crave a cookie at approximately 3 pm every day and through testing you have realized that your reward is temporary distraction and socialization. So every day at approximately 3 pm (your CUE) you can go for a walk and chat with a colleague or go to the cafeteria and have a tea with colleagues (new ROUTINE) to satisfy your REWARD of temporary distraction and socialization.