Live in the moment

LIVE IN THE MOMENT

If there is one piece of advice I can offer, it is to get your life off autopilot. Become aware of what you do. Try to stop just going through the daily motions because you’ll never reach your potential. You are unique and authentic, and there is a purpose to your life. But if you follow all the rules blindly and follow the pack of people around you without asking yourself whether it is the right thing for you to do, chances are you’ll miss the opportunity to grow as a person. I see too many people feeling the need to just settle instead of making healthy changes.

NO MORE EXCUSES

My challenge to you is to do these action steps every day.

1 } Start your day with at least 10 minutes of “you” time. Instead of hitting the snooze button, set your alarm a bit early and spend some time reading an inspiring book, listening to a good podcast, or enjoying a cup of tea and breathing deeply. End this time with a daily affirmation such as, “Today will be a good day.”

2} Change the way you react to things that happen. For example, don’t get spun up when in traffic. Instead, work on your posture or blow bubbles out the window and watch people light up as they see them float by! We can’t always control things that happen, but we can control how we react to them.

3} Live in the moment. Practice being 100 percent present in everything that you do. Block out the full workload for 10 minutes when a loved one calls, let go of outside stresses as you walk in the park, and focus on the one task at a time and give it your all.

4 } Give to others and the environment. Giving is the best feeling in the world — even if it’s just a simple compliment. Never pass up a chance to make someone feel appreciated or loved. It will fuel your happiness.

5 } Spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day being active. Instead of wasting half your lunch break looking at emails or Facebook, get out and move. Skip the nighttime TV and go for a moonlit stroll. The increased blood flow will help energize you and boost your mood.

It’s your turn to create a ripple effect. Go reach your potential. I promise you won’t regret it. You’re worth it!

5 powerful questions

1.  Am I focusing on the right things?

At every moment, millions of little things compete for your attention.  All these things fall into one of two categories: things that are important and things that are not.

People never get more done by blindly working more hours on everything that comes up.  Instead, they get more done when they follow careful plans that measure and track key priorities and milestones.  So if you want to be more successful and less stressed, don’t ask how to make something more efficient until you’ve first asked, “Do I need to do this at all?”

Simply being able to do something well does not make it the right thing to do.  I think this is one of the most common problems with a lot of time-management advice; too often productivity gurus focus on how to do things quickly, but the vast majority of things people do quickly should not be done at all.  (Read Getting Things Done.)

2.  Is my mindset in the positive or the negative?

Where your mind goes, energy flows.  Which area of your life do you tend to focus on: what you have or what’s missing from your life?

If you scrutinize your habitual thoughts, what do you tend to spend more time dwelling on?  The positives or the negatives?

Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and begrudging those who are better off than you, perhaps you should acknowledge that you have lots to be thankful for. Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and strength.  But the real question is: do you take time to feel deeply grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul?  That’s where the energy to take positive action comes from.

So don’t let negativity and drama get the best of you.  Happy, successful people tune out negativity to make room for positivity.  Be wise enough to follow in their footsteps.  Walk away from the nonsense around you. 

Also, along these same lines, accept the fact that there’s a lot you can’t control.  And if you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll do nothing but create more stress for yourself.  So remember, you can influence many aspects of your life but you can’t control them entirely.  Once you fully accept and adopt this pattern of thinking, another important question must be asked:

3.  What meaning am I assigning to my challenges?

Even when we’re being positive, we all have challenges; there’s no escaping that.  But how you feel about your life has little to do with the events in it or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you.  The meaning you assign to these things controls the quality of your life.  Most of the time, however, you may be unaware of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events.  So check-in with yourself…

• When something happens that disrupts your life (an illness, an injury, a job loss, etc.), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning?
• If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or trying to care for you?
• Does a big problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you?  Or is it possible that this problem isn’t really a problem at all, but an opportunity?

Bottom line: When something negative happens, view this circumstance as a chance to learn something you didn’t know.  Don’t wish it never happened.  Don’t try to step back in time.  Take the lessons learned and step forward.  You have to tell yourself, “It’s OK.  I’m doing OK. I can handle this.”  You need to know that it’s better to cross new lines and suffer the consequences of a lesson learned from time to time, than to just stare at the lines for the rest of your life and always wonder.

Also keep in mind that the past, even when troubled, is invaluable to your present.  It provides a solid foundation for everything you’re doing now.  Learn from it – the mistakes and the successes – and then let it go.  This process might seem easier said than done, but it depends on your focus.  The past is just training; it doesn’t define you in this moment.  Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how it will help you make things right.

When we shift our habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become.  A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter our biochemistry and the trajectory of our lives in a couple minutes flat. 

So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals power.  Choose wisely.  Find an empowering meaning in any event, and best will always be yours for the taking.

And that leads right in to the next question…

4.  What will I do next to progress?

While everyone else is talking about it, successful people are quietly doing it.

It doesn’t matter if you have a genius IQ and a PhD in Quantum Physics, you can’t change anything or make any sort of real-world progress without taking action.  There’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.  It’s as simple as that.

Successful people know that a good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed someday (or put off indefinitely!).  They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right day” or the “right (impossible) circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear and nothing more.  They take action here and now, today – because that’s where real progress happens. 

5.  What tangible reminders do I need to see to stay motivated?

You want to lose weight, but when you’re tired, it’s easy to rationalize that you’ll start exercising and eating right tomorrow.  You want to build a more profitable business, but when you’re caught up in the daily grind, it’s easy to just do what’s familiar instead of what’s required for growth.  You want to nurture your closest relationships, but when you’re busy, it’s easy to rationalize that you really need to work on that client proposal instead.

Few good things come easy, and when the going gets tough we often take the easy way out – even though the easy way takes us the wrong way.

To combat this, successful people create tangible reminders that pull them back from the brink of their weak impulses.  One man has a copy of his credit card balance taped to his computer monitor; it serves as a constant reminder of the debt he wants to pay off.  Another friend keeps a photo of herself when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the person she never wants to be again.  And another fills his desk with family photos, both because he loves looking at them and because, when work gets really tough, these photos remind him of the people he is ultimately working for.

Think of moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that take you farther away from your ultimate goals.  Then use tangible reminders of those goals to interrupt the impulse and keep you on track.

Afterthoughts

Now that you’re aware of the power of these five questions and their subsequent decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life.  When we observe someone we want to learn from and we have a crystal clear idea of what we want to create for ourselves, it unlocks a tremendous amount of motivation.  Human beings are socially inclined, and when we get the idea that we want to join some elite circle up above us, that is what really motivates us to achieve greatness.  “Look, they did it.  I can do it too!”

And yes, you CAN!

It may sound overly simplistic, but when you spend enough days asking yourself the right questions and you spend enough evenings studying people who have been where you want to go, you’ll gradually clear a pathway to create the positive change you desire in life.

Centering for Improved Concentration

Centering is a one-minute, twelve-breath exercise that transitions your mind from fretting about the past and future to being focused in the present — where your body must be.

As you withdraw your thoughts from these imagined times and problems, you release yourself from guilt about the past and worry about the future. You experience a stress-free vacation in the present.

Whenever you experience moments of the joyful abandon in play, the easy flow of creativity, or a state of concentration that leads to effortless optimal performance, you are enjoying a form of "centering."

Use this exercise each time you start a project. Within just a week or two your body and mind will learn to naturally let go of tension and focus on working efficiently and optimally.

Read the following to yourself or record it and play it each time you start a project.
1. Begin by taking three slow breaths, in three parts:
#1 Inhale,
#2 Hold your breath and muscle tension, and,
#3 Exhale slowly, floating down into the chair.
With each exhalation — let go of the last telephone call or commute and float down into the chair. With your next exhalation, let the chair hold you and let go of any unnecessary muscle tension. Let go of all thoughts and images about work from the past. Clear your mind and your body of all concerns about what "should have" or "shouldn't have" happened in the past. Let go of old burdens. Let go of trying to fix your old problems.  Let each exhalation become a signal to just let go.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I release my mind and body from the past."

2. With your next three breaths, let go of all images and thoughts about what you think may happen in the future — all the "what ifs." With each exhalation, clear your muscles, your heart, and your mind of the work of trying to control the so-called future.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I release my mind and body from the future."

3. With your next three breaths, say: "I'm choosing to be in this present moment." You let go of trying to control any other time or striving to be any particular way - and simply notice how little effort it takes to simply breathe comfortably and accept the just right level of energy to focus on this moment and this task — in the only moment there is, now.

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I bring my mind into the present."

4. "For the next few minutes, there is nothing much for my conscious mind to worry about within this sanctuary. I am safe from the past and the future. I just allow the natural processes of my mind and body to provide me with focused concentration while I access my inner genius and its creative resources."

Say to yourself as you exhale: "I am centered within my larger, wiser, stronger Self."

5. With your next three breaths count up from 1 to 3:
One, becoming more adequately alert with each breath;
Two, curious and interested about going rapidly from not-knowing to knowing; and,
Three, eager to begin, curious and interested about how much you can accomplish in such a short period of time.

For those who like to hear a guided version (start at minute 4.25):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05TwQ6OYXW0


Swaying

The object of this exercise is to sort of calibrate the position of the center in your body, and then to settle right in this position.

1. Sit on the floor, preferably in the way described in several of the above exercises, with your legs underneath you. Otherwise it is difficult to keep your back straight. Sit on something soft enough for you to remain there comfortably for a while, but not so thick that you sink down in it and lose stability. (You can also do this exercise standing) Wear loose clothing, particularly around your belly and the whole area of your hips.
2. Breathe calmly and deeply, and make sure to keep a good posture. Let your hands rest on your thighs (or hang down) and relax. Also relax your arms. They should be passive. Close your eyes.
3. Start swaying to and fro, sideways. Try to sway in such a way that the base of the movement is in your center, three finger widths below your navel. Neither above nor below it. Make the swaying small at first, then larger, moving far to the left and right – not so that you lose your balance, but not far from it.
4. Get into the swaying, sort of like you get lost in a song. You should feel like a growing pillar, so that your swaying encompasses an increasing distance from side to side.
5. Without you having to think about it, the swaying of your body will slowly decrease, the bigger and more extended it feels to you. The angle of your swaying gets smaller and smaller. Do not control it consciously. Just let it happen. 
6. Finally, when you feel almost infinitely tall, as if your swaying reaches deep into the cosmos – then your body movement will stop completely. The feeling of swaying continues, but your body is still, in an absolutely vertical position.
7. Then let go of that swaying feeling, and allow your central pillar to sort of sink down in this vertical middle, like a spear shoved into the ground. Your central pillar, your straight posture, falls into place in the middle of your body. This is one’s center.

Just How Messy Are You?

Soon you might be able to answer that question down to the decimal point. Researchers at MIT, led by cognitive scientist Ruth Rosenholtz, PhD, are working on a series of computer programs designed to quantify visual clutter by measuring color, contrast, "feature congestion," and visual complexity in maps and photographs of messy spaces. Rosenholtz's work could end debates over whether your teenager's room really is a pigsty (it is), help streamline Web sites and simplify maps, and maybe even lead to the creation of smart cars that can direct drivers to avoid overly cluttered—and therefore dangerous—streets.

Holds Barred

Talk about the magic touch: In a 2008 study published in the journal Judgment and Decision Making, researchers confirmed that the longer we physically hold an item, the more we value it. Two groups of 42 test subjects bid on coffee mugs they'd held in their hands for either ten or 30 seconds; the group that had more physical contact with the objects bid significantly higher. The lesson? When cleaning house, it may be best to enlist a buddy to hold things up as you decide what stays and what goes. That way you can avoid forming new attachments to your junk—or rekindling old ones.

The Quantified Self is a Web site where "self-trackers"—people who record, and look for patterns in, the empirical data of their lives—can post their findings. One self-tracker, Hulda Emilsdottir, detailed the methodology she and her husband, Josh Klein, used to clear out their Seattle apartment before moving to Iceland a few years ago. They logged every possession on a spreadsheet, then assigned each item to one of five categories: "I love this thing, and I use it all the time," "I love this thing because it's a good memory," "I love the way this thing looks, and I'm going to keep it," "This is useful but it's lacking somehow," or "This is useful, but I don't love it." Anything in the first three groups stayed; everything else went. "We got rid of about half of what we owned," Emilsdottir says. "And we get more joy out of what we kept," Klein adds. (Watch Emilsdottir's video about her remarkable seven-month wardrobe-simplifying project.)

An Object is Worth a Thousand Words

What would a stranger think of you if they examined every item you own? That's the burning question for University of Texas social psychologist Samuel Gosling, PhD. Gosling, the author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You, enters a person's home or office, notes all items present, and, based on his findings, completes a "personality inventory," assessing traits like agreeableness and neuroticism. A desk with a dozen framed family pictures might suggest that you value home life—"but are the photos facing inward (for your enjoyment) or outward (to convey a message to others)?" Gosling asks. Snooping may not be an exact science, but certain truths are well documented. For example: "People assume—always—that you're a nicer person if your space is clean."

Pardon Procrastination

If you have a penchant for procrastination, here is good news: A 2010 study out of Carleton University in Ottawa, Ontario, found that to stop putting off onerous tasks, you should...forgive yourself for putting them off. Doing so decreases your chances of delaying similar chores in the future, because it eases the negative emotions surrounding the task. So if you're upset about letting your basement progress beyond disorganized to health hazard, the most useful thing you can do is get over it—and then get down to work.

Source: oprah.com

February and are your resolutions slipping?

Lots of folks start off the year with incredibly ambitious plans for the new year. They add new, wished-for habits, try to break detrimental ones, eat intelligently, drink less...

The motivation starts to wane around February.

If this is happening to you, pick out THE MOST IMPORTANT GOAL from all the others you've set. Find ways to discover the joy in doing or achieving it. Be mindful of doing it, or steps toward it. Enjoy your will to win on this.

I have established a reading-meditation-yoga routine every morning. If I have to leave the house by 7, I need to wake up quite early to get everything in. I really enjoy the time spent with my "program" and am thinking about doing it in the evening.

My eating is good - vegetarian or vegan but I'll enjoy chocolate, a cookie or a glass of wine occasionally. I'm not trying to be a saint.

Speaking of saintlyhood - I do feel more relaxed and centered. How nice.

My goal of walking outside has been less successful. If the weather is too yucky, I don't. So there.

Keep up the good work- it's for a good cause. YOU!

Mindfulness

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is an amazing tool for stress management and overall wellness because it can be used at virtually any time and can quickly bring lasting results.

Mindfulness is a mind-body medicine practice, based on ancient Zen Buddhist meditation techniques, that was popularized by Jon Kabat-Zinn, a researcher at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. According to Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness is an internal resource that all of us already have within us. The idea is to channel or direct this resource to transform our relationships with stress, emotions, pain, and illness. Indeed, controlled research studies suggest that mindfulness-based interventions can effectively reduce symptoms in people with chronic pain, recurrent depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, binge-eating, and many other health conditions. Mindfulness interventions have also been shown to change the brain’s grey matter and reactivity to emotional stimuli in ways that promote greater conscious control over emotion.

Many people are confused about what exactly mindfulness is. Does it involve emptying the brain of thoughts, inducing relaxation, or going into a trance? It is essential for our well-being to take a few minutes each day to cultivate mental spaciousness and a positive mind-body balance. That is taking time for mindfulness.

Try using these simple, practical mindfulness exercises to empty your mind and find some much-needed stress relief and calm, present awareness amidst the madness of your hectic day.

1. One Minute Breathing

This exercise can be done anywhere at any time, standing up or sitting down. All you have to do is focus on your breath for just one minute. Start by breathing in and out slowly, holding your breath for a count of six once you’ve inhaled. Then breathe out slowly, letting the breath flow effortlessly out back into the atmosphere.

Naturally your mind will try and wander amidst the valleys of its thoughts, but simply notice these thoughts, let them be for what they are and return to watching your breath.

Literally watch your breath with your senses as it enters your body and fills you with life, and then watch it work its way up and out of your body as the energy dissipates into the universe.

2. Mindful Observation

Pick a natural organism within your immediate environment and focus on watching it for a minute or two. This could be a flower or an insect, the clouds or the moon.

Don’t do anything except notice the thing you are looking at. But really notice it. Look at it as if you are seeing it for the first time.

Visually explore veery aspect of this glorious organism of the natural world. Allow yourself to be consumed by its presence and possibilities.

3. Touch Points

This exercise is designed to make us appreciate our lives by slowing the pace down and resting in the moment for a while.

Think of something that happens every day more than once, something you take for granted, like opening a door for example. At the very moment you touch the door knob to open the door, allow yourself to be completely mindful of where you are, how you feel and what you are doing. Similarly, the moment you open your computer to start work, take a moment to appreciate the hands that let you do this, and the brain that will help you use the computer.

The cues don’t have to be physical ones. It could be that every time you think something negative you take a mindful moment to release the negative thought, or it could be that every time you smell food you take a mindful moment to rest in the appreciation of having food to eat.

Choose a touch point that resonates with you today. Instead of going through the motions on auto-pilot, stop and stay in the moment for a while and rest in the awareness of this daily activity.

4. Mindful Listening

This exercise is designed to open your ears to sound in a non-judgmental way. Select a new piece of music from your music collection, something you’ve never heard before but makes you wonder what it might sound like.

Close your eyes and use headphones if you can. Allow yourself to get lost in the journey of sound for the duration of the song. Allow yourself to explore the intricacies of the music. Let your awareness climb inside the track and play among the sound waves.

The idea is to just listen and allow yourself to become fully entwined with what is being played/sung, without preconception or judgment of the genre, artist, lyrics, instrumentation or its origin.

5. Fully Experiencing a Regular Routine

The intention of this exercise is to cultivate contentedness in the moment, rather than finding yourself caught up in that familiar feeling of wanting something to end so that you can get on to doing something else. It might even make you enjoy some of those boring daily chores too!

Take a regular routine that you find yourself “just doing” without really noticing your actions. For example, when cleaning your house, pay attention to every detail of the activity.  Rather than a routine job or chore, create an entirely new experience by noticing every aspect of your actions.  Feel and become the motion of sweeping the floor, notice the muscles you use when scrubbing the dishes, observe the formation of dirt on the windows and see if you can create a more efficient way of removing it.

Mindfulness Exercises That Each Take Less Than 1 Minute

1. Two mindful bites.

Instead of attempting to do mindful eating all the time, try mindful eating for the first two bites of any meal or snack.

For the first two bites of any meal or snack you eat, pay attention to the sensory experiences - the texture, taste, smell, and appearance of the food, and the sounds when you bite into your food.

You don't need to savor per se, you're just paying attention to your sensory experience in an experiential rather than evaluative way. 

2. What one breath feels like.

Instead of formal meditation, try paying attention to what one breath feels like.

Feel the sensations of one breath flowing into and out from your body. Notice the sensations in your nostrils, your shoulders, your rib cage, your belly etc.

3. Take a mindful moment to give your brain a break instead of checking your email.

Instead of checking your email, spend a few seconds watching out the window. Use mindfulness to give your brain a break rather than filling up every tiny space in your day by automatically reaching to check your email.

4. Air on exposed skin.

Pay attention to the feeling of air on your skin for 10-60 seconds. This is best done when wearing short sleeves or with some skin exposed. Maybe just the feel of the air on your bare hand.

5. Scan your body.

Scan your body from top to toe for any sensations of discomfort or tension. Attempt to soften to the sensations of discomfort. Next, scan your body for any sensations of comfort or ease.

6. Do one action mindfully.

Pick an action you do at the same time everyday and plan to do that action mindfully. For example, getting into the car or drinking your coffee.

7. Using mindfulness cues

In this exercise you focus your attention on your breathing whenever a specific environmental cue occurs. For example, whenever you hear the phone ring, you bring your attention into the present moment and stay focused on your breath.

Simply choose a cue that works for you. Perhaps you will choose to become mindful every time you look in the mirror. Perhaps it will be every time your hands touch each other. Perhaps it will be every time you hear a bird.

Mindfulness cues are an excellent mindfulness technique that are designed to snap you out of the unconscious “autopilot” state of mind and bring you back into the present moment.

Mindfulness in Everyday Life

• Bring yourself into the present by deliberately adopting an erect and dignified posture.
• Then ask yourself: "What is going on with me at the moment?"
• You simply allow yourself to observe whatever happens. Label any thoughts that you have and then leave them alone....just be prepared to let them float away. Attend to your breathing or simply take in your surroundings instead.
• Besides thoughts, there may be sounds you hear, bodily sensations that you are aware of. If you find yourself constantly elaborating on thoughts, rather than labelling them and returning to the neutral, remember to observe your breathing.
• When emotions or memories of painful events occur, don’t allow yourself to become caught up by them.  Give them short labels such as “that’s a sad feeling”, “that’s an angry feeling” and then just allow them to drift or float away. These memories and feelings will gradually decrease in intensity and frequency.
• More importantly, you will begin to identify yourself as an objective observer or witness rather than a person who is disturbed by these thoughts and feelings.